++in my sleep

*blame eja for this sad song. u bitch. but i luv u.


Someday, dark has turned to grey
The stars have made their way
I raise my glass and part my lips tend to many deep
The only time I see you is in my sleep

Someday, get up on my way
I think I'll be okay for a while
I know you were never mine to keep
But I know that I'll see you in my sleep

But time has been unkind
and kept me far from you
But I know you will be holding me
In my sleep

I've been hanging on
scraping by all my life
And I know you will be holding me
In my sleep

I've been hanging on
Scraping by all my life

And I know I'll miss you
I'll always miss you
But I know I'll see you
In my sleep

I know I'll miss you
I'll always miss you
But I know I'll see you
In my sleep

currently listening to:in my sleep
currently feeling:sappy
i wanna be:a supermodel

++Day 10

back to these familiarities.
reality struck me really bad.
kenapa susahhhhhhhh sgt niiiiiiii????

:((

currently listening to:lifehouse - u n me
currently feeling:lost
i wanna be:a supermodel

++Day 8

we have been together for more than 8 years
how do u simply expect me to forget and erase everything in 8 freaking days?
hishhh
every tiny little things reminded me of him okeh
those familiar routes i take
those familiar smells
those familiar songs
those familiar dj jokes @flyfm
those familiar clothes
those familiar foods

i should migrate to somewhere else. any idea? no! not between malaysia, luar negara.

currently listening to:josh radin - closer
currently feeling:i hate myself now for cannot sleep
i wanna be:

++Day 7

i slept at sue's lastnite.
Thank youuuuuuuu sue!
it really meant alot.

currently listening to:3rd eye blind - hows it gonna be
currently feeling:down
owh take me back to the start~

++Day 6

sudahlah jatuh, ditimpa tangga pula.
:((((((((((((
yaAllahhhhhh, apakah dosakuu:((((((

*ok, aku mmg byk dose
currently listening to:michelle branch - everywhere
currently feeling:sgttttttt depresssssssssed
i want to turn back time plssssssss

++Day 5

i didnot go to work yesterday.
i didnot go to work today too.
tomorrow is my last day. happy kan?
4 days of berehat is not enuff.
i've been busy accompanying my self in the kitchen, mopping.
and watching my long lost bestfriend in the idiot box: HitzTV. hello u, i miss u.
and reading motivating book, hnm, ofkos belum abis. mcm biase.
and mostly, tidur di sofa sambil memegang buku tersebut dan mendengar hitztv tersebut.
i did retail therapy in tesco, because thats what org2 miskin (yg berasal drpd keluarga yg susah) style of retail therapy. we did not spend on branded stuffs, tanak pening2 kepala bayar credit card later on. berabis kat tesco sudey.
dan would have sufficient foods for not going out for 7days. great kan?

today i went to visit his sister who just went back from ireland.
and just before i packed my stuff to go home, mama asked to tapau 'nasi kuning' for my sister.
ya Allahhhhhhh, how can i forget that i lied that i had to temankan my sister?
only Allah knew how i choked, terkemama with my own lie, bergenang2 airmata.
ohmygod.
ohmygod.
how i wish that i can tell her that i went back home because we were broke.
i said, "tapayahla mama, kakak saye tak makan malam. dia diet"

currently listening to:avenged sevenfold - dear goddddddd
currently feeling:still sad
i just want to be loved.

++Day 4

the truth is,
u can go out and have the oddest fun u ever had,
martinis, french fries, ice creams, chocolates.
meet bestest friends in the world
shop like u had no credit limit
laugh out loud like nobody's business
or even turn into a crocodile in the deepest river
but at the end of the day,
u climb up the bed, feeling all the emptiness & loneliness, yourself.
and started crying.

all hail the break over.

currently listening to:bunyi cengkerik? got cengkerik at muti4ra d4mansara ah?
currently feeling:pathetic
i wanna eat baskin robbin

++Day 3

mission no.2 also FAILED. (mission no.1 pon agak failed)
i had i lil bit of insomnia lately, no matter how late i slept.
its either becoz of the breakup, or because of my HOT room memandangkan the older room tuh sejuk and ade aircond. nih sini, panas nye terasa.
and, i had temujanji belari bersama irina di bukit tunku diwaktu subuh today.
so, i dun want to have not enuff sleep, i took pills. plus, mmg ade flu.
butthen, this morning when i woke up 'ehhhhhh kenape dah teranggggggg'
i didnot hear all the misscalled, not even all the 3 alarms that i set!
hari2 biasa pergi kerja i can wake up easily at 6-630am. why not today????
tensyennye..
selamat jalan udara segar bukit tunku :(

currently listening to:boyzone - gave it all away
currently feeling:still mcm tak percaya
i wanna go to bukit tunku!!!!!!!!

++Day 2

first time.

++Day 1

i tot i'm gonna be ok, but im not.
i cried million tears all the way from sgl0ng to d4mansara.
i told mama that i had to go back to my house to teman my sister because his hasben will be outstation.
i lied. im sorry. and i hold my breath every time i felt like bursting the tears infront of her.
and then i tot, hey i can live, i can live.
but the moment i woke up this morning, i burst again.
i have never felt so empty.
and this must be going on from now on. i dunno until when, but lets pray together that i'll be strong and didnot do anything stupid.
amin.

r u happy now?
currently listening to:cranberries - animal instinct
currently feeling:heartbreak of couse.
i.. i cannot write what i want rite now.

++Dear U

when i am at the pathetic peak of my job related matters,
WHY out of sudden comes another big ROCK on my head??????
why now???????
why not before? why not last year? why not last last year??????
i. am. really beyond depressed!

++the one with the lie

from 'how i met your mother' episode 19 latest season.

lily: But people don't like to be lied to.

barney: Wrong! They don't like finding out they've been lied to.
"because a lie is just a great story That someone ruined with the truth."
-Barney Stinson.

rite after that, he found out that the 28year old girl he dated is actually aged 31years old and he felt sick. NAH kau padan muke kene tipu hidup2.
on another related notes: omg whats so wrong with girls above 30??? i felt terrible already :((((

currently listening to:butterfingers - bebas
currently calculating the lovemeter
i dont know wht i want. hnm.

++

sunggggggguh
lemah lututku
dan hancur berkecaikecai hatiku
bila kau memanggil begitu

currently listening to:lady antebellum - need u now
currently feeling:sad
i wanna go home

++gave it all away

hehe i couldnt help resisting boyband song/s
even this song made me cried million tears nowadays. damn the age. and damn my sensitive heart.
and oh, this is the latest single from boyzone dedicated to stephen gately who died of pulmonary oedema.
and his last twitter status 4 days before he died saying: "Still busy, lots going on. Focussing on finishing my book next so may be quiet here." made me burst too. what the hell has1fah???
anyways, RIP steve.. u had been in my jejaka kacak folder during teenagers, forever u will be to.



Gave It All Away Lyrics

I ..... I will learn to live before I die
will learn to love and learn to try
not to give it all away (give it all away)
She ... she may be
the one that's meant for me
or for the man that I used to be (used to be)
til' I gave it all away (gave it all awayx2)

CHORUS
why hy hy I lay my heart down on the floor
I showed you love, you wanted more re re
but I gave it all away (cry ry ry ry cry ry ry ry)

you taught me to see the better truth
about yourself but about me too (about me too)
I was stupid over you
what could I do

CHORUS
why hy hy I lay my heart down on the floor
I showed you love, you wanted more re re
but I gave it all away (cry ry ry ry cry ry ry ry)

some people wait a lifetime for a chance like this
I've waited enough
baby, no, I won't let you go
I'm sick of tears and being fierce

(I won't let go of you, I won't let go of you, of you, of youx2)

CHORUS
http://www.elyricsworld.com/gave_it_all_away_lyrics_boyzone.html
why hy hy I lay my heart down on the floor
I showed you love, you wanted more re re
but I gave it all away (cry ry ry ry cry ry ry ry)

there's nothing left to take (cry ry ry ry cry ry ry ry ry)

I gave it all away

currently listening to:boyzone - gave it all away
currently feeling:sad
i wanna be:loved

++lagenda budak setan?

YES!! i am one of them reading lagenda budak setan!!!
(walopon at that time i was oppose ahadiat akashah, motif nak describe watak hero mcm gamba kau kat belakang kulit novel tuh kan???)
hehehe, but still, i finished reading both books. (rasenye ade lagenda budak setan 2)
(anddd, i love 'sepasang jeans biru' written by him more):D:D karats siot aku.
so, YES too, i WILL/MUST watch this movie below.
plus, the picture looks good & sgt DSLR :D
pluss, the actors/actress mcm bagus bagus semuanya.
plusss, i love dreadlock-ers, eh itu bukan dreadlock. tp, nice hair lah kiranya. only un-colored.
altho trailer dia mcm dah abis satu citer, tp, i wanted to biliv that kematian lisa surihani bukanlah ending dia. (kalo x silap dlm novel tuh dia ade buat plastik surgery, kan?)



currently listening to:the trailer
currently feeling: berkobar
i miss being loved

++42 hari tanpa cinta

reality bites
aku dah cakap dah aku makan lebih byk ketika sedih bebanding ketika gembira
semalam, selepas sesi spa bersama seraya di k4jang, aku makan nasi lemak agak banyak jugak mak dia masak. uh ah.
selepas itu, belom sempat pon lapar lagi, aku makan nasi ayam sehingga licin di jusco balakong tuh.
sekarang, aku tgh pikir2 nak makan nasik kerabu pula.
oh sedapnya nasik kerabu di pasar ramadan. (as if takde nasi kerabu kalo takde pasar ramadan ;p)

*gambar hiasan: bebuka puasa nasi kerabu pasar ramadan TTDI di kantin IBM (skrg dah jadi VADS).

ah rindu eja yg single. dan oa yg single. dan sue yg single. dan imah yg single.
eh sue dan imah mmg single pon:D
rindu tahun 2006 yg dipenuhi cinta2 hujung minggu.
simply rindu.

currently listening to:lady antebellum - need you now
currently feeling:bluesssssss hahahaha
i miss being loved

++the one who turns into teenager's dilemma

i am
boring
kurang kaseh sayangs
gemok
tensed
semakin kurang stamina
mahu cantikkan kulit
needs to jog!
takde geng nak jog -_-
kurang cinta
mengantuk
cannot stay awake until late like lastimes
rindu tahun 2006!!!
simply rindu.

currently listening to:fuhh
currently feeling:monotous
i wanna be:a supermodel

++60 THINGS A GAL/LADY/WOMAN WANTS BUT WONT ASK FOR

the entry was posted by people on the facebook, and to u it may sound silly and kebudak2kan, but, i think, sgt make sense. it is so not difficult to love a girl.

♥ 60 THINGS A GIRL WOULD WANT BUT WONT ASK FOR ♥ (this is so cute!)

60 THINGS A GAL/LADY/WOMAN WANTS BUT WONT ASK FOR!!

1. Touch her waist.
2. Actually talk to her.
3. Share secrets with her.
4. Give her 1 of your sweatshirts
5. Kiss her slowly.
6. Hug her.
7. Hold her.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her everywhere.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together.
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her.
13. Pull her onto your lap.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. it makes her feel loved.
16. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly.
18. Hug her from behind around the waist.
19. Tell her she's beautiful.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car (if any)- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
22. Tell her she's your everything - ONLY if you mean it.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so just hug her.
24. Make her feel loved.
25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know
26. DON'T lie to her
27. DON'T cheat on her!
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants
29. Text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her.
30. Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can ALWAYS count on you.
31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK: (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her.
36. When people DISS her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle.
39. When walking next to each other grab her HAND.
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as long as possible
41. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her SWEET DREAMS
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much u love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while sitting on her.
46. Rub her back--feels good
47. Give her your coat if she's cold--thats always cute
48. Write letters on her back with your finger--feels good ;D
49. Let her sit on your lap
50. DON'T poke her hard...but if you want to mess around just do it lightly.
51. HOLD her HAND in PUBLIC.
52. Even if she looks BAD one day tell her she's BEAUTIFUL
53. Keep conversations flowing...talk about anything usually they just go along with it.
54. If their hair is in their face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionatley and gently.
55. Surprisingly sneek up on her and hug her from behind--loves it.
56. Kiss her in the rain.
57. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her.
58. Slow dance with no music
59. Don't ignore her or be nerveous around her--everything is going to be okay.
60. Love her, kiss her, hold her, and you'll be good to go. ;D (read less)

currently listening to:lady antebellum - need u now
currently feeling:rindu
i wanna be:a supermodel

++hai kuo tian kong

hehehe mood lagu cina harini. lagu karoke feberet atuk. ntah apepeje maksodnye (maksod lirik dan mengapa dia suke karok lagu ini, takpayahlah dipikirkan kerana ia bakal buatkan saye sakit kepala je)
tp, lagu ini layannnnn~


gam tin ngor..
wan yue loeuy hot seut peui gwor
wai zong lam kup lieu teck sum mo pieu yun fong
fong yu loeuy zui gwon
mo loeuy fun batt qing ying zong
tin long hoi fuut nei yu ngor
hor wui pin (soui muut zoi bin)

dor sieu qi
ying chjong lang ngan yieut zao sieu
chong muut yao fong hei gwor sum zong teck lei seong
ya satt na fong fatt
yolk yao sore satt teck gam kor
butt ji butt gor yi bin tarm
sum loeuy ngor (soui ming butt ngor)

yun nong ngor zei yat sun butt gei fong zong ngoi ji yao
ya woui pa yao yat tin mui tit tou ououou oh noooo...
pui hei lieu loeuy seong
soui yan dou hor yi
na woui pa yao yat tin qit ngei gong ngor...

gam tin ngor..
wan yue loeuy hot seut peui gwor
wai zong lam kup lieu teck sum mo pieu yun fong
fong yu loeuy zui gwon
mo loeuy fun batt qing ying zong
tin long hoi fuut nei yu ngor
hor wui pin (soui muut zoi bin)

yun nong ngor zei yat sun butt gei fong zong ngoi ji yao
ya woui pa yao yat tin mui tit tou ououou oh noooo...
pui hei lieu loeuy seong
soui yan dou hor yi
na woui pa yao yat tin qit ngei gong ngor... oh yeah

yeing ying ji yao ji ngor
wei yun gou chjong ngor kor
kao pin jin nei

yun nong ngor zei yat sun butt gei fong zong ngoi ji yao
ya woui pa yao yat tin mui tit tou ououou oh noooo...
pui hei lieu loeuy seong
soui yan dou hor yi
na woui pa yao yat tin qit ngei gong ngor...

pui hei lieu loeuy seong
soui yan dou hor yi
na woui pa yao yat tin qit ngei gong ngor...oh yeah

yun nong ngor zei yat sun butt gei fong zong ngoi ji yao (oh yeah)
ya woui pa yao yat tin mui tit tou ououou oh noooo... (ohhhhh oh)
pui hei lieu loeuy seong
soui yan dou hor yi (ohhhh)
na woui pa yao yat tin qit ngei gong ngor...

currently listening to:beyond - hai kuo tian kong
currently feeling:still sakit tekak
i wanna be:a supermodel

++the one with the demam

i have never demam for so many days in my life.
(if it was not those demam yg wabak seperti demam campak or demam cacar air)
but this time, i had been diagnosed with demam since last last sunday.
it started out with sakit tekak really horrorly.
i went to 2 panel clinics to be firmed that this is not the h1n1 that people are afraid of as there had been 4 +ve cases of those in level 9 of my office..

i couldnt tahan anymore, none of those medicine that doctor prescribed fit me. i didnot feel any better, tekak semakin pedih. ouh yeah i know about the importance of drinking a lot of water, tp, tahukah anda macamana perasaannya bila lutut anda terkoyak kemudian anda siram dgn air? ye betolll, begitulah perasaannya ketika menelan air!

i couldnt eat too. mama cook delicious bubur, pon tak tertelan.
i have to eat half boiled eggs (yg tidak pernah menjadi kesukaan ku).
other than that, ohwell, i didnot eat anything. (ohmigod kenape aku tak kurus ni?)

setiap malam muntah2 after taking the medicines. kemudian atuk akan membengkeng kerana muntah2. ape dia ingat aku sengaje2 nak muntahkan ubat2??????????
(heee geramnye toksahlah dikatekan yeh diketika2 badan sakit, ubat tableh telan, kudrat nak muntah tuh, ya allah siksanya menahan!!!dapat pulak bf bengkeng.. heee, nasibaik mak dia ade, kalau tak, aku dah sosah dongan pisau!:D)

oleh kerana doktor di klinik ckp ini demam biasa, he only gave me 1 day MC. say what??????
so, i took lah my own cuti. then, on thursday morning, i went to the office.
still dlm keadaan masih talarat!!! balik itu, i couldt take it anymore, i ask atuk to bring me to the hospital.
we went to ppum, i was lazy to think/search who were my panel clinics, lagipon, my intention is only to get the h1n1 checkup.

yada yada yada, doktor saspek denggi.
dan saye telah dimasukkan dgn air secepat yg mungkin. ya, tidak lah masok ward seperti yg digembargemburkan. saya dimasukkan air disitu jugak, di dewan kecemasan dan trauma ppum itu. nasibaik ada katil kosong, baring je tanpe segan silu.
we were at ppum since 7pm kot, kesian atuk yg bengkeng :*:* luv luv (mcm remaja remaja)
until around 12 midnite, the doc came in and said i was ok. the blood test and ujian air kencing semua ok. but i can still continue the pemasukan air (mase tuh baru separuh tube air je turun!!!!) dem lembab gile babi!!!!
so i ask the doc to stop the water. and went back home.

friday, i didnot go to work. my mom suruh balik kg, berubat kg.
so, my sister fetch me at sgl0ng, and zasssss, balik kg. and mom memanggil nenek dukun to ubatkan that petang.
malamnye, bepeloh2 mcm banjir.
alhamdulillah. telah sihat. tp, still ada sakit tekak n batuk2, tp, dah tak teruk sgt.
mak cakap, 'keteguran'.
wallahualam.


currently listening to:-
currently feeling:loved
i wanna be:a supermodel