++how to be happy for dummies

cause of sadness:
-bf cheats on u (top sadness)
-mom nagging about your age and unmarried status
-being rejected
-want samting so VERY badly, but cannot get it.
-defisitness aka gaji cipot
-mom disokong oleh makcik2 sedare penyebok
-makan with makcik penyebok jugak in the office
-kawan2 semua dah kawen, dan skrg zaman kawan2 kpd adik pule berebot2 nak kawen. ah babi.
-kazen yg baru lepas SPM pon sebok tanye bile nak kawen, ko nak makan pelempang ke budak baru belajar melancap????

how to be happy:
-eat chocolates (choose cheap-cheap chocs)
-eat rice (cheaper) and lepas makan nasik, kenyang, wahh happynyer!! lupe sekejap masalah.
-sleep (u can not think about your sadness when u sleep)
-eat again, ahhh, sooo refreshing lah eating ni..
-go out party-ing (not cost effective, but u can lose weight :D)
-go vacation (not cost effective, and it can hold up to that #days of vacation only)
-seeing & meeting with 'single' friends ONLY. kawan dah bekawen sume sebok ckp pasal anak2.
-terpikir semula about the problem, go eat! eat makes me(atleast) happy.

side effect:
-gain weight
-extra sadness due to the gaining of weight
-people critisize your size, sadness again.
-people reject u due to your current size, upper sadness!

the mathematics
if {(cause of sadness + side effect > how to be happy), "bunoh diri je lah"}
else if (u r damn lucky, "bitch")

currently listening to:colbie caillat - realize
currently feeling:lapar
i wanna be:a supermodel