Monday, August 17, 2015

++the one with no car

fuhhh
it's been a week or 2.
i've been in an accident.
kochiku is still in coma state in the nearest possible bengkel to my home.
and i have to currently stay over at ABC's
with the brothers and sisters. and nieces.
and it's been a very tiring rides, everyday.
couldnt imagine myself being this disabled, yaknow, without the car.
the thought of buying a motorcycle has really top off of my emotional budgetary chart nowadays.
with my ever hoarding skills aside, the suggestion to go nomad to another house is also an issue.
you dont want to know.
it is really a frustrating one, my logistic problem.

last saturday, when visiting an aunt at the state south, that aunt asked me about what's the latest price for 'hantaran' back at my hometown.
i said i dunno. i dont even wanna know actually, because u see, i've accepted the fact that i'll never get married fosho.
and she, she didnt know that, so she asked again.
i said i dunno. i think it's the same like everyone else in KL.
she said, it's for me.
i said what???
i choked of course. the ketupat in me.
for who? your husband ke (soalan ku hanya didlm hati), but i went silent for a while.
i didnot ask anything. i went outside and eat alot of durians (kekonon mcm nak memabokkan diri kan).

she didnt say anything after that.

and my mind went on a trip the whole journey back.

with what had happened to my bestfriend's marriage, it is hard to tell.
trust is so over-rated.
sometimes u can trust someone with all your money, and someone who can be reliable to when u are in a deep debt, or trouble with accident, is not the same one u can trust with handling monogamy.
and sometimes, u can trust someone that will never break your heart, but u cannot trust him to take care of your belongings.
there will never be a perfect 'trustworthy' person.
and with another bestfriend of mine, handling 2 too many, wives of her now scandal, i said, wow, i rest my case.
i'm no more anti-polygamy for sure, but can i handle the deep rejection of being together when he is on duty with the 1st or 2nd or 3rd?
shit man.
this is such a whole new world i'm getting into.

tbc.

currently listening to:kepadamu kekasih
currently feeling:tired
i wanna be:rich

Monday, August 10, 2015

++kecewa

Sedikit waktu yang kau miliki
Luangkanlah untukku
Harap secepatnya datangi aku
S’kali ini ku mohon padamu
Ada yang ingin ku sampaikan
Sempatkanlah

Hampa kesal dan amarah
S’luruhnya ada dibenakku
Tandai seketika
Hati yang tak terbalas
Oleh cintamu…

Kuingin marah, melampiaskan tapi kuhanyalah sendiri disini
Ingin kutunjukkan pada siapa saja yang ada
Bahwa hatiku kecewa…

Sedetik menunggumu disini, s’perti seharian
Berkali kulihat jam ditangan
Demi membunuh waktu
Tak kulihat tanda kehadiranmu
Yang semakin meyakiniku
Kau tak datang

Wednesday, August 5, 2015