Thursday, December 30, 2010

++the one who hates tomorrow is a public holiday

for some VERY personal reason,
i HATE it that tomorrow was announced as a public holiday
i just dont want to be alone on my birthday.. i tot can go to work like any other normal days. sigh yg sgt2 panjangggggggggggggg~

im proud of malaysia winning the suzuki cup tho,
but urm, can i dislikes all the provoking status in the FB.
semua org lah nak tunjuk dan hebohkan dan mengstatuskan the same exact thing.
semua org nak bgtau semua org that they love fahmi
or they scream like hell
or they throw shoes out of their window upon 90minutes
or even the 'goallll!!!' status.

boring. hehehe. kecoh ah aku nih.
(*not like i didnot do the same exact thing before this, hahaha, again, kecohhhh ah hasif4h!!!)

whatever it is,
marilah kita pergi ke perpustakaan!!!

currently listening to:lifehouse sick cycle carousel
currently feeling:saddddddddd
i wanna be:a supermodel

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

++2days to 30

first of all, i have no intention of begging for empathy.
but, but,
the nearer i come to the date,
the sadder i feel.
why oh why i feel sadddddddddddd

30 is such a BIG number, atleast for me.

currently listening to:daniel beddingfield if u're not the one
currently feeling:saddddddddddd lah!
i wanna be:a supermodel

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

++DEAR TGV & GSC

Dear TGV & GSC,

this feedback has nothing to do with the movie i'm gonna watch,
but,
i would like to suggest a button/click to be able to buy/payonline the ticket that we have BOOKED before.
maybe customer can browse through their 'reservation history' page,
and then, can submit a 'buy this ticket now' at the same page.
so, customers do not have to go early to the cinema to collect their ticket.

Just my 6pencenonethericher ;p

*yes ofcourse the payonline ticket are all sold out already by this time.

**dear GOD, please make them read my feedback comments!
currently listening to:michael learns to rock - complicated heart
currently feeling:nak makan makan makannnnnn
i wanna be:a supermodel

Monday, December 27, 2010

++What I missed most during school #2

Roti panjang berisi cream!!!
do u know this roti, it was 10sen or maybe 5sen each during those days.
father would drop by at this mamak stall beside BP petrol station before dropping me off at the school. one for me, one for kaklong.

my parents, they are the ortodox types.
i remembered crying for attending the school by the school-bus kaler oren :( but they didnot allow.
mother sanggup kadang2 jalan kaki with me to the school if father got to go outstation or any other circumstances.
i was jealous with my bestfriend that time, she can jingle with the boys to and from school in the school bus. mcm happening gituh kalo naik bas tuh.

its not until i was in standard 6 that than i got my parents trust to go to school by the prebet sapu. we called it kereta 'auntie'.
its not even a van. its a long car. but we all push ourselves into it, and off to school everyday. i missed those days. i missed all my chilhood friends.
eh, boleh masok dlm 'what i missed most during school #3'.

currently listening to:
currently feeling:
i wanna be:

Friday, December 24, 2010

++What I missed most during school #1

chatting setiap malam sampai lebam dgn budak2 jepon at #exsbp dan budak2 mmu&uniten.

am gonna upload all the songs that i still kept. heheh.




Thursday, December 23, 2010

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

++still the one with the rice issue

i went to sleep everynite promising myself that i will not eat rice the next day,
but, i wake up everyday screaming
"LAPAR NASIK LEMAK!!!"
and, the kerang masak sambal (to be eaten with the nasi lemak) at the stall i must encounter everyday, from the carpark to the office walk is always unbearable.

T_T
how can u erase nasi from your mind ya?
currently listening to:krisdayanti cobalah utk setia
currently feeling:lapar semula
i wanna be:happy again

Monday, December 20, 2010

++the one with the bad news

bad news comes as often nowadays huhh!!!
i am depressed!
yes, yes, i juz heard about this one!
hu huh hu huh menangis tidak henti henti
i guess i can mark 2010 as my most depressing year of all.now.
ya allah sedihnyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

currently listening to:utada hikaru 1st love
currently feeling:saddddddddd
i wanna be:a supermodelllllllll

++try

photo

Sunday, December 19, 2010

++the one with the gossip girls

i must've been late at saying this,
but i HATE jenny humphrey!!! taik!
and u too, vanessa abrahms.
erghh.
ok, juz completed season 3, now who want to lend me the 4th season eh?

currently listening to:gg 322
currently feeling:depressed!
i wanna be:KURUS again!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

++cityville

addicted to cityville
T_T

currently listening to:dewa-cintakan membawamu kembali
currently feeling:sleepy
i wanna be:kurus

Thursday, December 16, 2010

++Narnia & Spoiler

*narnia's spoiler alert*

I dunno how people manage to talk very softly n slowly on the phone, for me, my voice is always like a petir. People can actually hear my voice from the other building.
No! I didnot have the high pitch voice!
I have a thick deep voice. Most people would like to think of it as a man's voice, so to say...
Even my close friends used to confuse between me and my ex every time we pick up each others phone.. Dah halfway bercakap baru sedar eh nih ch3pah ek? Vice versa. Or maybe his voice pun mcm pompuan.
Whatever..
The thing is, i cannot decrease my volume.
People wont hear me clearly, like i'm mumbling. Imagine thick and short. Ugly kan? so whenever a bff needs a sesi meluahkan perasaan ke daun keladi (becoz u wont listen to all my advices pon kan, u moron :p), i'll run to the toilet or staircase, or the best was when i'm in the car. boleh cakap kuat dan menjerit.

So yesterday, before step out of the office, i called my fren.
yada yada da, du du da, hip hip boo yah.. ok, c yu at the cineleisure later.
and there, my neighbour of 2-3 desk away asked me
"nak gi tgk movie ape? harry porter ke?"
oh, nampaknya sudah di-ketahuan-kan..
"takla, nak tgk narnia kot.."
and then, menyampuk pula another girl from behind..
"ish, jgn tgklah narnia, tak best!!"
so much for an evening huh. i said "alaaa, takpela nak tgk jugak"
and then she proudly continues her sentences
"nanti akhirnye budak2 berjaya.. bla bla bla"
?????????
"tanakkk, tanakkk tauuuu" and i think i've made it pretty clear there.
"...dan azlan muncul kat saat2 akhir aje.."
??????????????????????????????????????

haizzzzzzzzz

so now, do u think i went and watch narnia?
and do u still want to go to watch narnia?
after this spoiler.

hidup ini sungguh payah.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

++Aaaa

Ok stop nagging!!!

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++the one with the scarfs

back when i was still on the 2nd year at uni malaya, i work part time at a stationary center at amcorp mall during the semester break.
3months semester break that time.
i had great colleagues who were also doing their part-time job there and they studied at some other private college which i cant remember the name.

i normally took the LRT to/back from work everyday, but due to some unforeseen circumstances, one day i followed them with their boyfriends (or so i thought) to my home.
and i cant help remembering clearly from our tiniest conversation in the car.
apparently, those were the times when u heard about some staircase scandal of those 'tudung-labuh' student of uni malaya.
and so these lelakis were talking and talking and blaming and came to a conclusion of all the girls with the tudung were not the good ones.
my heart screaming all the way out "oh my god how can u judge one tudung labuh scandal towards all the other girls???"
but of course my mouth shut, that time, i know there's no point of backing myself up for i dont really good at talking and debating with other gender as well as i am alone in the situation (both my colleagues are free-hair).
so, today, when i look back at those days, i was thinking back.

alamak. writer's block!

my point exactly!!!!!!

currently listening to:sheila majid-kumohon
currently feeling:stress
i wanna be:kurus!!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

++pissed

pissed off
lepas sorang, sorang, manusia yg x sudah2 menjadi ombak.
sudah habis issue email drpd lelaki busuk hati itu,
skrg dtg pula gerakan halus drpd institusi kawan2 sendiri.
dulu, bile tanye semua sepakat.
skrg, engko sibuk nganjing aku.
itu lah, ini lah. a is worst than b, b is better than c.
as if i am not standing in the conversation.
i said, back off!!!

Saturday, December 11, 2010

++the song

there are songs that make us want to dance,
songs that make us want to sing along,
but the best songs are the ones that bring you back
to the moment you first heard them
and once again break your heart.


x.o.x.o., gossip girl.305

Friday, December 10, 2010

++dear god

Dear God the only thing I ask of you
Is to hold her when I'm not around
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
But I left her when I found her
And now I wish I'd stayed
'Cause I'm lonely and I'm tired
I'm missing you again, oh no
Once again


There's nothing here for me on this barren road
There's no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can't help but think of the times I've had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through, oh yeah
currently listening to:avenged sevenfold - dear god
currently feeling:saddddddddddddddd
i wanna be:a supermodel!!!!!!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

++the one with the jeans


eh???
not helping when u have already always wear jeans, eh?

currently listening to:disagree - crumbs
currently feeling:kenyang
i wanna be:a strawberry :-s

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

++december 8th

Why cant i sleep?????
currently listening to: the sound of silence
currently feeling:sad
i wanna be:

Friday, December 3, 2010

++What Hurts The Most


What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

++james baum

yeap, apart from being femininely addicted to henry golding, *blushes*
james baum is also a shizzznit yow!
i couldnt biliv my eyes.
when si bengkeng actually suggested him yearsss ago, that was 'james baum-skirts',
i didnot google him. i was like, hnm ok i like this song. cool. i was busy. kononnye.
i tot he's some indie stuff from usa or anywhere, not malaysia.
boy was i wrong.
peng! peng!
tembak diri sendiri for being ignorance.
now he's up again, alaaa dah ramai peminattt. T_T terlambat sudah~

currently listening to:james baum - skirts
currently feeling:fresh
i wanna be:kurussss

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

++the one with the ipad

oh OUR god!!!
the XXX company will be launching ipad soooooooooon
i vant! i vant!
whats becoming me???
i still have the iphone 3gs monthly deduction scheme(6more months to go)
iphone 4g 1st purchase (for my bro)
iphone 4g 2nd purchase (for me)
..to pay monthly. (thats roughly 600++ a month)
and now, ipad????

seriously???
i need an angel-guarder to tight me around the neck now,
before i click and submit for the ipad. god please help. T_T
but the ipad is pretty handsome awkward kan? :(

i've come to notice these 'membazir' lots because i cannot see any future of marrying anyone soon. my heart scream 'MUST SPEND ALL THE MONEY!'.
and now, im gonna do defisitness 2weeks before gaji.

currently listening to:debaran cinta, what???
currently feeling:greedy
i wanna be:a supermodel

Monday, November 29, 2010

++Eating

WHATS happening to me????????
i cannot stop eating (now eating 3rd meal of the day)
and i am very very very lazy to do any work
and i am very utterly lazy to even move

very nih!
aiyark..
felt like want to go home and sleep on the bed watching greys anatomy but the new episode havent come out yet.
currently listening to:freestyler
currently feeling:laaaaaaaazy
i wanna be:nothing

++the one with narcissist

"they were all the classic narcissit.
nobody is more fun at a party,
but, u know, they're incurable.
and u should never, ever get in a relationship with one.
-brothers and sisters s04ep08-

currently listening to:estranged aurora
currently feeling:better
i wanna be:kurus!!!

Friday, November 26, 2010

++the one with the other staff

the other day, while waiting for my turn to pick up my new device at XXX customer service center, another staff (MR. C) who is also waiting to collect his device 3 numbers behind me, came to me and ask what's happening.
apprently, our names (staff who had booked their device in the system) were not in the buying list in the system yet.

so, the customer service personnel had to take a little bit more time to arrange for our devices lah. if the names are already in the system, they can just click and print and we would have the device in our hands in 5mins. but here, we have to wait more...

being the typical patient and not in a hurry me, i just waited lah, no big deal as long as i get the device rite and yeah i get it. tu aje. no complaint.
but this MR.C, he told me "what?? why??? do u think i can talk to the customer service manager ah? why r they being so slow bla bla bla"
hak elahhhhhh, kecohhhhhhhhhhh!!
i said "i dont think its the customer service's fault, maybe HR havent sync the list with the system yet or something"
MR.C cannot stop complaining, he asked me i'm from which department.
i said lah i'm from the other dept in another location and have been in this KLCC from which time.
he said he is from the audit department (which, the office is located in KLCC too, so,why the complaints???) urghh..
MR.C: "this can be an audit too, the customer service's services"
i said "yeah yeah"
MR.C: "i dont understand this company, people always stayback, i had to stayback, always, and no overtime for that, lastime when i work with the bank, everyday at 6pm i can go back dy"
"then, why dont u resign and fo back to your goddamn bank???" (hanya cakap didlm hati sejja)
i told him, yeh, we are always staybacking too, but i think this is normal for a technology-based company, and i think OK lah kot.. not critical.
i used to work with some old small company which was far and beyond unexceptional, so, XXX is of course so much better. in my previous company, i used to stay back not until midnights, but till the other day, so, i was walking down the harder path before.
i think some people are not being thankful just because they have never walked thru the harder life.
some are just being lucky to absorbed all the best best parts in life, and once they were being rotted into just a small tricky circumstances, they panicked and dangggg, they make noises.


currently listening to:samsons - bukan diriku
currently feeling:pening
i wanna be:kurussssssss

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

++the one with high heels


i've been thinking alot lately about shoes
one, i had not enuff shoes. i mean, i do own few, but not all are comfy and i need lot of working shoes or sandals or nice fancy wedges.
but i hate to confess that i am a stingy at spending for something that we would finally step on it. huhuk. beli murah2 sudahlah. nanti akan pijak tahi juwa. ok, slash that.
and when it comes to heels, i like it less than an inch. 1.5 the most. i have heightophobia (ok, i just made that one up), but yeh, i cannot wear high heels. cuak + oh kamon, plis respect supermodel like me, we are already tall, jgn lah suruh kami menjadi seperti zirafah pula.

the problem with today's trend is, they wedges, all the nice and fancy and cheap wedges (like the one at the curve or gerai2 murahan di tesco muti4ra d4mansara), are made and sell with 2inch high. sigh yg sgt panjang~
where can i get fancy2 plus cheap2 wedges at less than 1inch high eh? :( so sad.
currently listening to:all my life
currently feeling:sad :(
i wanna be:effortless

Monday, November 22, 2010

++the one with clinic attack

*outdated entry, the event below happening on June2010*

the other day, i was having a movie date with kakak palmspring dan kakak damai at 1145pm and there's a spain game at 10pm. but around 8-ish, terjadilah sebuah tragedy october yg mengerikan. kepedihan yg tidak dapat diceritakan.
*sakit yg tidak akan diberitau kpd sesiapapun, stop asking*
i was panicked.
ask these 3 people: kakak palm spring(PS), kakak sg buloh(SB), dan kakak muti4ra d4mansara(MD). i couldnt speak, couldnt breath easily pon. i cried histerically. oh ya, kakak housemate(HM) also.

1st, i called kakak housemate(HM), she's in KL and in the middle of something. OMG :((
2nd, i called kakak sgbuloh(SB). yaAllah i love her, jauh2 drpd sg buloh tuh, she said "sabar2, ko tahan!!! aku dtg sekarang!!! tapi aku kat rumah ni"
but i was in pain! and i dont think she can reach me in 30minutes time.

so then i called kakak palmspring "PS, tolong kiteee PS!! kite sakit sgt ni!!"
*insert cakap secara tersekat2 for breathing adjective here*
kakak palmspring cannot help, she didnot has a car that time..

i sticked to kakak SB then. waited for her sampai mengerang2 kesakitan. menangis. called kakak SB few times to check her location, and asked her to lupakan her son. SORRYYYY kakak SB!!
only to terfikirkan later that i had a kakak MD nearby.

ya allah, aku terus call kakak MD. "MD!!! to longgg aa kuu MD *still becakap secara tesekat2.. to.. long.. hantar..aa..ku.. gi.. kli.. nik"
"ok ok CP aku, aku dtg skrg, rumah ko yeh? aku gi situ skrg"
drama giler ok.

off we went to the nearest clinic, i was wearing, oh god knows what, pendek sampai peha, tshirt tido sudah, rambut kusot masai mcm org preknen.:( very the mak lampir.
there were 2 guys! waiting for their turn there! ohmaifuckingfuck!!!
korang tau je lah begitu buruknye aku kalau didlm keadaan yg digambarkan seperti 4line diatas nih kan :((
the guys seriously looking awkwardly at me, wadehelll minah ni? is she crazy or what?
yea yeah that sort of looks.
huhuhu.

i went to the counter and said, nurse, pleaseeee, please let me go in first!!!
the nurse pon turut sama tercungap2 melihat ku disitu kepucatan.
yeh, i was very very pale!!!
so, hnm, see the doctor, yada yada yada, kakak SB arrived 5mins later.
kesian kakak SB :( sorryyyyy, aku nyusahkan ko :(
i couldnt and wouldnt forget that moment. not until anytime.
jasamu ku kenang!!!

hehe, ok, entry ini tamat disini because i am a bad storyteller. tatau nak sambung ape. :))

currently listening to:putih-sampai mati
currently feeling:withdrawn
i wanna be:sihat dan kurus juga..

++the one with germany?

can we pretend that airplanes
in the night sky are like shooting stars?
i could really use a wish right now
wish right now, wish right now


and happy birthday dear EJA!!!
doakan aku kayeraye segera, semuge cpt2 ku dpt visit germany!!!
amin~!!!
currently listening to:-
currently feeling:i.cannot.sleep!!:((
i wanna be:kurus dan kaya!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

++after 6 months

have u ever had to stare into something that u know u can't have?
but u have to remind yourself to resist it.
it was like a test.

its been 6 months!!
how time flies. i loved him before and i love him still.
that; i cannot change.
but i told u that i have given up rite. so hnm yeah, life goes on.

currently listening to:according to you
currently feeling:sad
i wanna be:kurus!!!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

++the one with i miss u

Where are you, and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I can not dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
And hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight,
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)

currently listening to:blink 182 i miss you
currently feeling:empty
i wanna be:a supermodel

Monday, November 15, 2010

++The one capricorn girl

i copypasted tis already in March 2004 in myold blog
and weirdly aggree to most of them descriptions rather than 6years ago. hnm, years made me wise?

CAPRICORN WOMAN

A tall slim, cool and quiet woman...
slim no more bebeh

Once she is mad she can be very fierce...
true true

She can work better than some men and she is very high confident woman. In her opinion, woman is not just a flower or decoration at home or at an office and certainly not a weak sex who needs protection..
dun think so..

She likes to control and hide her weak emotions
yeah maybe..

She will never try to change anyone, but she will learn to accept them as they are
trying very best here..

If she does not like someone, she will not comments or criticize but she will
completely ignore that person
not true, i will definitely mengumpat him/her with the person im with. :-"

She hate plastic and an artificial flower because it make her feel that you are not being sincere. She loves real flower and its scent
true true

She loves a guy who wears after shave cologne. .
anything asalkan x busuk.

If you are a type of a guy >who wears your Jean one month before washing, or wear an old sneaker, then you can forget about her...
true true

She loves music and nature even there is a rare case otherwise...
the very truest!!!

She loves to go picnic in nature, so if you don't have so much time for her, you can take her fishing too...
is it? havent tried fishing for so many years..

She is not as jealous as Aquarius or Leo woman, but do not cross the line O.K.
true true

Better not to see she gets mad, especially in front of public when she feels like loosing face...
true sgt sgt

She loves to make up and dress perfectly and very neat, so never rush her for this matter...
make up what???? not true. i wear what i felt like wearing and comfortable with. thats it.

She has her own goal in life and does not care if you have a doctorate degree or not, if she thinks you are not bright then she will not care about you at all. She likes smart people by character not by certificate shown. If you can not show her this quality, go and take a bus and go to the next stop...
true true

She does not like a dreamer who talks about his dream but never put his hands in action to make it happens...
especially when u jenis becakap jenis nak UP kan diri sendiri aje.
boleh blah!

Don't bother to tell her "everyone is doing it, you should do it too", or "I think you should
Do it, it's good for you", because she will do what she wants to do only...
yeah dah betul plak kenyataan ini, the last 6 years i felt declined towards it. strange strange.

She is a neat and tidy person, so if your apartment is a pigsty, do not take her there
hehehe. applied to guys only, kalo rumah org pompuan aku ok sejjaaa :D:D

If you go out on a date with her, try to be presentable such as nice and clean dress, clean nails or else it will be your last date
tidak busuk especially!!!

She is a cool type and will not nag, so easy on your ears...
yes yes betul betul!!!

She is a slow but sure type. ..
i am definitely a slow type :( thanx horoscope-writer :(

She will always respect and honor you and will never try to make you loose your face...
true true!!!

If she loves you, she will help you in anything you do..
definitely..

She likes to help people and expect nothing in return. ..
oh well, some people might want to judge this..

If she asks you for a favor and does not get one, she will feel very disappoint...
sedey sikit, but i'll move on..

She has a high hope and a high faith and beliefs in her own confident than believing in "Luck"
given the rate of goddamn badlucks happening in my life yearly, yeah yeah, i think yeah, true..

If she is your wife, you will have nice and clean home and a gourmet cooking. If your parents visit your house, they will be please...
err not sure about the parents part.

She is a 3 in 1 means , a perfect mother, a perfect housewife, a perfect wife or you could say "happily ever after"...
perfect description ever!!! THANX horoscope-writer!!!

currently listening to:mika gracekelly
currently feeling:gatal2
i wanna be:a supermodel

Sunday, November 14, 2010

++the one with avery

Biology sucks sometimes.
Biology says that we are who we are from birth,
That our d.N.A. Is set in stone,
Unchangeable.
Our d.N.A doesn't account for all of us, though.
We're human.
Life changes us.
We develop new traits...
Become less territorial.
We stop competing.
We learn from our mistakes.
We face our greatest fears.
For better or worse,
We find ways to become more than our biology.
The risk, of course...
Is that we can change too much...
to the point, we don't recognize ourselves.
Finding our way back can be difficult.
There's no compass, no map.
We just have to close our eyes,
Take a step,
And hope to god we'll get there.

grey's anatomy is such a himono-onna thing. i love it more when dr avery is in it. heheh.

currently listening to:here without u
currently feeling:monotous
i wanna be:a supermodel

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Friday, November 12, 2010

++if you go away

If you go away, as I know you will
You must tell the world to stop turning
Till you return again, if you ever do,
For what good is love without loving you?
Can I tell you now, as you turn to go
I'll be dying slowly till the next hello
If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

Monday, November 8, 2010

++My Immortal

You used to captivate me by your resonating light,
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind.
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice has chased away all the sanity in me.
These wounds won't seem to heal,
this pain is just too real,
there's just too much that time cannot erase.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears.
and I held your hand through all of these years.
But you still have...
All of me.



currently listening to:my immortal
currently feeling:sad
i wanna be:20 again

Sunday, November 7, 2010

++pedih?

Happy. Sedih. Penat. Mengantuk

Watched you again with the girl on thursday(?ke wednesday?)
Watched the other guys the girl on friday
Watched megamind with the boys at nite
Watched red with the boys on saturday
Watched unstoppable with the boys on sunday
Managed to run for terry fox charity run too
Karaoke with the girl wednesday and with another girl on friday and with the boys on saturday

Happy sedih penat mengantuk

currently listening to:Arsenal vs newcastle
currently feeling:down!!!!
i wanna be:a supermodel

Thursday, November 4, 2010

++3am

its 1057am here, but someone somewhere is at 3am, is him not?
whoever he is?
i dont know yet
im just feeling the coldness of this war here.
feeling empty too
wtf?

She say it's cold outside and she hands me my raincoat
She's always worried about things like that
She says it's all gonna end and it might as well be my fault
And she only sleeps when it's raining
And she screams and her voice is straining

She says baby
It's 3 am I must be lonely
When she says baby
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
Says the rain's gonna wash away I believe it

She's got a little bit of something, God it's better than nothing
And in her color portrait world she believes that she's got it all
She swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to
And she only sleeps when it's raining
And she screams and her voice is straining

She believes that life is made up of all that you're used to
And the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days, and days
She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway
But outside it's stopped raining

Monday, November 1, 2010

++advices

there's no right or wrong advice/s.

i'm just gonna give up.

Friday, October 29, 2010

++the one with the boat


life is like a boat.
i cant help feeling exactly like the boat, the picture taken during labuan's holiday last weekend.
not many people would snap pictures and mengangkat bakul admiring his/her own capture/s, but this, hehe i would want to brag!
like the feeling of letting myself back in to the open sea, its like bringing back my small piece of heart into this whole new social life, new friends, new circles, but then, there are still the obstacles, the small2 rocks that still keep on blocking the way.
like the insecurities, the ugly truth, the minimum persona, the awkwardness, the less confident, and yet again, the feeling down.
there are always families and closed friends by the side, staying together no matter what happen,
but then, there still are those ombaks. the ones that kept slapping and kicking me.
the ones who always 'menganjing2' me, the bad emails, the bad mouth, the crooky smiles, the evil laugh. like the feeling of hearing a friend called me 'his janda' the other day. u might think u r being funny, but u r not. it scratched the wounds out of me heart.
those are the little little waves that kept on pushing me away from the open sea. blocking me, saddening me, and it felt like the malaysian-committee. ohwell, this is malaysia! to my surprise!!!
i can never stop the bad mouth, org2 yg suke menganjing2 dan mengutuk2 dan worst, i can never stop hearing.
sometimes, i think being alone with no friends to hang out with is way better than hanging out with nosy people.
perlukah saya menjadi anti-sosial dan menolak semua invitation?

currently listening to:peterpan - bintang di syurga
currently feeling:down:(
i wanna be:alone

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

++Demam ketam

Demam ketam= demam akibat byk mkn ketam dan merindui utk mkn ketam lagi
The feeling was like the demam i had on last may..
My sister insisted me to take 'kampung medication' again, mungkin keteguran again? Hnmmm, i'd stick with drugs.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

++Tercipta Untukku

Pasti waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tahu ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku..



* i still cannot biliv tat ariel is such a player and did those nosy videos. i still love looking at him tho.

Monday, October 25, 2010

++OK

pojan spoiled me with this song at labuan

01 OK !!
by T2

Aaaa aaaa..
Seandainya kau bilang saja padaku
Apa yang kau rasakan
Tanpa harus kau diam dan diam lagi
membuatku tak mengerti

Kau datang dan pergi
Seperti sibuk sendiri
Kau suka ku suka
Tapi berputar-putar

Chorus:
Aku bingung sendiri
Melihatmu begini
Kau buat aku jadi pusing
Aku tahu maumu
Aku tahu maksudmu
Aku mau jawaban
Cukup satu jawaban

Coda:
Aaaa.., ok
Aaaa.., ok
Bilang saja ok..
Ku mau dengar ok

Kau terlalu lama mengulur waktumu
Aku jadi capek deh..
Jelas-jelas kau sudah tahu hatiku
kau tunggu apa lagi

Kau datang dan pergi
Seperti sibuk sendiri
Kau suka ku suka
Tapi berputar-putar

Chorus:
Aku bingung sendiri
Melihatmu begini
Kau buat aku jadi pusing
Aku tahu maumu
Aku tahu maksudmu
Aku mau jawaban
Cukup satu jawaban

Coda:
Aaaa.., ok
Aaaa.., ok
Bilang saja ok..
Ku mau dengar ok

Aaaa, aaaa

Thursday, October 21, 2010

++o to ka jo

o to ka jo
o to ka jo
gu de ga to na ga ne yo
o to ka jo
o to ka jo
nal du go to na ga ne yo
sa rang he yo
sa rang he yo
mok no ha bu lo bo ja man
gu den dut ji mo te yo
ga su mu ro man
we chi go i su ni

ha ru on jong il
ji wo bo ji man to to o la
ha ru on jong il
i byol ha ji man to da shi to o la
so nul po do do son ne mi ro do
ha nul su om nun go su ro
gu da ga ji man jap ji mo ta go
na nul go ma nit jo

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

++after 5 months

Some people are just damn lucky bastards, arent they?

currently listening to:imissyou blink182
currently feeling:sad
i wanna be:

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

++Walking After You

If you walk out on me
Im walking after you
another heart is cracked in two
I'm on your back




currently listening to:walking after u
currently feeling:weird
i wanna be:tough!!!!!!!

Monday, October 18, 2010

++the one with chilis

we were wearing the company's uniform when one day we decided to have dinner at chilis, one utama..
while eating and gossipping, a middle aged chinese man came approching.
"waaa, kerja with the company byk kaya ahhh"
i was giving the look of: "sape dia ni? akak kenal ke?" to the dinner partner..
"boleh makan sini, manyak kaya ah nowadays kerja with the company"
still, we were both looking at each other didnot understanding.
"u all kilija mana? customer care ka dealer ka?"
"ohhh, tak tak, we were the ones from kl sentral, kami bukan customer service punya olang"
"ya laaa, kl sentral customer care ka? dealer ka? manyak kaya ah boleh makan sini punya"
"tak tak kami bukan buat customer care"
"oh dealer ah? wahh boleh makan sini, lainkali belanja wa ya"
hehehe, ape ape sahajelah.
masih tidak puashati agaknya, the chinese man waited at the exit..
"kasi contact numbel la, nanti boleh belanja, manyak kaya ah keja dgn the company, boleh makan di chilis"
"..."

currently listening to:sound of silence
currently feeling:mengarut
i wanna be:a supermodel

Sunday, October 17, 2010

++liverpool

i tellu what yeh,
jatuhnya liverpool adalah bersama-sama jatuhnya has1fah
i mean, bersempena.
hehehe, u've been cursed

kamon bring me up~

currently listening to:kasih x sampai
currently feeling:panas
i wanna be:a striker

++Sita - Happy

Hello! How are you?
Why are you looking so sad on a day like this?
Do you feel like talking?
Now you got me started
I wanna see a smile on your clueless face - Yeah Yeah





There's a man sitting down by the 405
Hitting some kind of tune on his raving guitar
He seems stranded in a desert of a million dreams
Just like life hasn't been exactly as nice as it seems

Hello! How are you?
Why are you looking so sad on a day like this?
Do you feel like talking?
Now you got me started

I wanna see a smile on your clueless face - Yeah Yeah
You could be so happy on this brand new beautiful day
You could be so happy like kids getting ready to play
Come on and bring it on, on and on
Nothing that you do is wrong
Come along and don't drag it on
You can be so happy

You say your girlfriend is pretty - Yeah
She's waiting at home
Got a safe job
And you can call a little house and a chevy your own
It all seems perfect but ain't perfect just as boring as hell
You've been craving for this
And now you're stuck just like a snail in it's shell All that matters is that you can
be free to live your life the way you sincerely feel it
Cause life's too short
You don't wanna be a prisoner
of your own illusions
And I shout it out

You could be so happy - yeah you got somebody to love
You could be so happy - Ain't that good enough
Ain't no use to sit and drag it on, thinking 'bout the mess
you've done - Nothing's wrong, just bring it on
You could be so happy

There's a man sitting down by the 405
Got a smile on his face - Thinking: 'What a wonderful life'

currently listening to:
currently feeling:
i wanna be:

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

++the one with the angkasawan wedding

u guys are such an ass!
kecoh bende??? she is obviously nervous lah


currently listening to:broken hearted
currently feeling:kenyang
thursday pls come very2 fast

Monday, October 11, 2010

++I'll Be Here Awhile

Far is solace in the maddening pace
sad state written on my face
not a tight rope walk but dance
uncertain game of chance
but I'll see it through in time

I'll be here a while, ain't going nowhere
I'll be here a while, ain't going nowhere
I'll be here a while, ain't going nowhere
I'll be here a while




currently listening to:i'll be here a while
currently feeling: intoxicated
i wanna be:with u

Saturday, October 9, 2010

++I Will Come To You

We all need somebody we can turn to
Someone who'll always understand
So if you feel that your soul is dyin'
And you need the strength to keep tryin'
I'll reach out and take your hand


Thursday, October 7, 2010

++the one with an old man

an old folk in my village, who is around 55+/-,
who for my very tak memilih eyes think is not handsome, not macho, not gagah, he is obviously old, menunggu hari2 utk pencen, kulitnya hitam, dan kurus, dan serious tak menarik..
suddenly asked something from his fully-housewife-wife..

"timah, bagi abang rantai mah tuh, abang nak gadai,
er...
...abang nak kahwen lagi satu"

with a young (i dont know her details, but from a known friend in our village, she is typical sahaja, muda of course, not ugly, but not pretty too, tidak kaya dan agak miskin bebanding this old guy), dan mempunyai ibu yg sudah becerai yakni janda..

menangis tak?
kalaulah lelaki itu kacak, atau atlis kelihatan segak dan gagah takpe juga.

now i think, alah break up dgn bf of 8years je kot.
think about mak timah, who was married for around 25 years with that old man.
who had membesarkan dgn susah payah anak2 yg sudah besar2 dan berjaya2..
who had been with this old man during thick and thin..
drpd miskin, hingga agak boleh tahan juga pencennya nanti..

after few days of thinking, maktimah said
"abang pikirlah bang, kalau abang dah pikir masak2, dan kalau itulah keputusan abang,
izinkan timah keluar dr rumah ni, timah nak duduk dgn anak2.."

to be continued....

currently listening to:ungu - cinta dlm hati
currently feeling:sadddddddddddd
i wanna be:a supermodel~

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

++Yg terdalam

Kau telah tinggalkan hati yang terdalam
Hingga tiada cinta yang tersisa di jiwa


this is due to the photo memories at the sidebar of the FB
and the album name is "yang terdalam - when OA is still staying under the same roof T_T and we used to lepak2 together with x & y ...
and those weekends of 2008 where i always be with...

do u know that i will not delete any photos?
dont bother advising..
currently listening to:yang terdalam
currently feeling:sad
i wanna diet!!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

++6 months sober

still wonder how others did it.
without realizing the fact that i did it.

currently listening to:bila cinta
currently feeling:sad
i wanna go eat lagi

Monday, October 4, 2010

++the one withdrawal

Related Words for : withdrawal
backdown, climb-down, detachment, secession, drug withdrawal

with·draw·al definition
Pronunciation: /-ˈdrȯ(ə-)l/
Function: n
1 a : a pathological retreat from objective reality (as in some schizophrenic states)
b : social or emotional detachment
2 a : the discontinuance of administration or use of a drug
b : the syndrome of often painful physical and psychological symptoms that follows discontinuance of an addicting substance heroin addict going through withdrawal >
3 : COITUS INTERRUPTUS

-The physiological and mental readjustment that accompanies such discontinuation.
-A pattern of behavior, observed in schizophrenia and depression, that is characterized by a pathological retreat from interpersonal contact and social involvement and that leads to self-preoccupation.
-Discontinuation of the use of an addictive substance. The symptoms of withdrawal include headache, diarrhea, and tremors and can range from mild to life threatening, depending on the extent of the body's reliance on the addictive substance.

Famous Quotations
withdrawal
"A separation situation is different for adults than it ..."
"A bizarre sensation pervades a relationship of pretense..."
"The reliance on authority measures the decline of relig..."
"only total expression expresses hiding: I'll..."

currently listening to:3S2M - the kill
currently feeling:withdrawed? :D
i wanna be a diagnostician ah ah ah



and oh, coitus interruptus, on the other hand, is...
the deliberate withdrawal of the penis from the vagina before ejaculation

Sunday, October 3, 2010

++the one yang memaki

There will always be the moment like this
When fake "i miss u" sms-es to the little group of besties doesnt do wonders anymore..
Sedih rindu yg menggigil dan sgt sejuk.
Babiiiiiii pukimakkkkk fuckkkk
I wish i could scream in the real world rather than to mister blog.
Poor u.

(bgm: here without u.. No wonder eh?)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

++wall street

Insanity is when u do the exact same thing over and over and hope for different results..

Monday, September 27, 2010

++the one with broken machine

The working machine did it again!!
Lastime when i couldnt do anything about it, the it service desk loan an old machine to me while they were repairing mine..
Thats when i dont have firefox or a newer version of the ie, and realised that a blank page appeared when i type correct my blog adress in the old machine with the old version of ie..
Duhhhhh:((

Now how do i change back the template?

Oh oh freaking annoyed with typing via iphone!!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

++Jauh Kau Pergi

listening to this song..
and yeap it still smells like tawau 2009
still smells like the old prado / landcruiser
still smells like rumah putih tepi bukit
still smells like the karaoke room
and still smells like the barbeques..

sometimes it felt like its ok to have my memory lost..



currently listening to:tinggal kenangan
currently feeling:adrenaline rush
i wanna be:nothing

Monday, September 20, 2010

++after 4 months

he had, and i haven't
what more can i say?

:((
currently listening to:birds chipping
currently feeling:sad
i wanna be:on holidayssssssssssssss lagi!!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

++when guys started to ejek2 ex-gfs

i.get.it!
tapi tapayah ah nak pass pass kan.
huh sedihnye.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Sunday, September 5, 2010

++the one who just lost a friend

so sad.
my partner in crime
my loving lifehouse and alternative rocks partner
my bola-watching/mengutuk/mengomen-tahapepe/mencintai-players partner
my cursing & bitching partner
my laughing like bitch partner
my hardrock partner and sanctuary and mystery and entah kelab hape2 ntah kat pj tuh partner
my movie tibe2 partner
my lepak2 dan cerita2 psl kehidopan ini payah partner :(
my sleepover dan dvd marathon partner
my dancing partner
my blow rambut partner
my eating partner
my sudugapu aka medan selera idaman partner!!!
my only neigbourhood partner
my hometown partner too!!!
*oh i cannot stop listing :((

...is leaving me here alone :(
why did u accept that job offer??????????????????????

i is so sad.

whr do i go now?
currently listening to:JB love me???? wtf is this playlist singing???
currently feeling:sad lah!
i wanna be:a supermodel

Saturday, September 4, 2010

++house

house tv series selalu diakhiri dgn lagu2 sedih :(((((((((
greys anatomy pon, brothers and sisters pon, lost pon, chucks pon, even how i met your mother pon.
shud make a compilation of those and cried million buckets.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

++the one with mr white wall

i is

has a date with mr white wall.

and mr house season 2 later on.

:|

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

++What Should I Do

i've been watching alot of korean dramas lately
but hell, most of them are really looooong, i wonder how people are getting fanatic watching them series.
ehhh but wait! did i not finished 3 16series k-dromas???
haha. everynite i wd watch atlis one episode of 1hour drama before sleep, sumtimes, the intention was to finish atlis 2 or 3 episodes, but i'll be getting sleepy thruout the 1 episode already. huh. tapi, nak jugak tgk sampai habis. walaupon i can already assume the ending.

i had finshed watching 'my girl', 'my personal taste', and 'u r beautiful',
now, i am left with 'boys over flower' yg telah ku stop diepisod ke 15 sbb dia ade 25 freaking episodes! bapak panjannnnnnnnnnnng!

i had just finished watching u r beautiful, and the song below melekat terus ke lubuk hatiku.
and i love hyung nim oppa!! hehehe gediks!

All day, I try to erase you but I keep thinking of you
All day, I say goodbye but I think of you again
I reach out my hand, but you go where I cant go
I cant find you, I can only cry



as seen in the final episode:


i like versi perempuan ni juwer:


han go ru man kum gu del bo ne myon
nun mu ri na han go ru man kum
gu de ga ga myon to nun mu ri hu lo wa
so nulpo do do son ne mi ro do
da hul su om nun go su ro
gu de ga nun de jap ji no ta go
na nul go ma nit jo

CHORUS.
o to ka jo
o to ka jo
gu de ga to na ga ne yo
o to ka jo
o to ka jo
nal du go to na ga ne yo
sa rang he yo
sa rang he yo
mok no ha bu lo bo ja man
gu den dut ji mo te yo
ga su mu ro man
we chi go i su ni

ha ru on jong il
ji wo bo ji man to to o la
ha ru on jong il
i byol ha ji man to da shi to o la
so nul po do do son ne mi ro do
ha nul su om nun go su ro
gu da ga ji man jap ji mo ta go
na nul go ma nit jo

CHORUS.

o to ka jo
o to ka jo
ja ku gu de man bo yo yo
o to ka jo
o to ka jo
nan gu de sa rang ha nun de
mi an he yo
mi an he yo
ne ma ri du li shi na yo
da shi do ra wa jo yo
gu de a ni myon na nan dwe ni ka yo

o to ka jo
o to ka jo
na ni ji ku de pu nin de
o to ka jo
o to ka jo
gu de ga to na ga ne yo
o to ka jo
o to ka jo
nal du go to na ga ne yo
sa rang he yo
sa rang he yo
mok no ha bu lo bo ja man
gu den dut ji mo te yo
ga su mu ro man
we chi go i su ni..

As I let you walk another step away, it brings tears to my eyes
As you walk another step away, it brings tears to my eyes
I reach out my hand, but you go where I cant approach
I cant hold onto you, I can only cry

What should I do? What should I do?
Youre leaving
What should I do? What should I do?
Youre leaving me and going away
I love you, I love you
I call out to you but you cant hear me,
because Im only crying out with my heart

All day, I try to erase you but I keep thinking of you
All day, I say goodbye but I think of you again
I reach out my hand, but you go where I cant go
I cant find you, I can only cry

What should I do? What should I do?
Youre leaving
What should I do? What should I do?
Youre leaving me and going away
I love you, I love you
I call out to you but you cant hear me,
because Im only crying out with my heart

What should I do? What should I do?
Youre still the one for me
What should I do? What should I do?
Youre leaving me
What should I do? What should I do?
Youre leaving me and going away
I love you, I love you
I call out to you but you cant hear me
because Im only crying out with my heart

Monday, August 30, 2010

++the one who started to become crazy

u would definitely go nuts when u feel unloved at all
i was surrounded by dizziness
the dizzenes caused by the kelip kelip lampu around me
i shouted "lets get high" in the instant messanging world
and begin talking craps
and immoral
and useless too
i said "hey, u drive"
u drive me crazy!
to a stranger

too much system of a down's songs today.

currently listening to:system of a down - BYOB
currently feeling:sugarhigh
i wanna go to the beach

++The Scientist

i've always love this natasha beddingfield's version of the scientist most

Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard




Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Sunday, August 29, 2010

++the one who still struggle to move on

dear silent reader,

yeh watever, maybe u r right, maybe i m not really ready to move on.
or too lazy
or too stupid.
yeh watever.

currently listening to:rama - bertahan
currently feeling:downnnnnn
i wanna be:tough!!

Friday, August 27, 2010

++Cooler Than Me



this one is better without the 1st 1minute. bah!


If I could write you a song,
and make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used to pull all my tricks,
I hope that you like this.
but you probably won't,
you think you're cooler than me.

you got designer shades,
just to hide your face and
you wear them around like
you're cooler than me.
and you never say hey,
or remember my name.
its probably cuz,
you think you're cooler than me.

you got your hot crowd,
shoes on your feet,
and you wear them around,
like they ain't shit.
but you don't know,
the way that you look,
when your steps
make
that
much
noise.

see I got you,
all figured out,
you need everyone's eyes just to feel seen.
girl, your so vain,
you probably think that this song is about you.
don't you? don't you?

if I could write you a song,
and make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used to pull all my tricks,
I hope that you like this.
but you probably won't,
you think you're cooler than me.

you got designer shades,
just to hide your face and
you wear them around like,
you're cooler than me.
and you never say hey,
or remember my name.
it's probably cuz,
you think you're cooler than me.

you got your hot crowd,
switching your walk,
and you don't even look when you pass by.
but you don't know,
the way that you look.
when your steps make
that
much
noise.

and don't you dare act like you don't know,
know what's up,
cuz your nose is up.
I'm approaching up.
like I can't give you winter in the summer
or summer in the winter
Miami in December
trying to look bored in them Dior's.
she probably is,
Was acting shallow 'til she found out
how deep that my pockets is
Mrs. pre-Madonna, this is your reminder
That I think you're fine, but I'm finer

'Cause it sure seems
('Cause it sure seems)
You got no doubt
(That you got no doubt)
But we all see
(We all see)
You got your head in the clouds
(Clouds)

if I could write you a song,
and make you fall in love,
I would already have you up under my arm.
I used to pull all my tricks,
I hope that you like this.
but you probably won't,
you think you're cooler than me.

you got designer shades,
just to hide your face and
you wear them around like,
you're cooler than me.
and you never say hey,
or remember my name.
its probably cuz,
you think you're cooler than me.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

++The Man Who Can't Be Moved



going back to the corner where I first saw you
gonna camp in my sleeping bag i'm not gonna move
got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
saying, "If you see this girl, can you tell her where I am?"

some try to hand me money. they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken-hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do?
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you?

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this Earth I could be
Thinkin' maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving, I'm not moving

Policeman said, "Son, you can't stay here"
I said "There's someone I'm waiting for, if it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind, this is the first place she will go

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this Earth I could be
Thinkin' maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving, I'm not moving
I'm not moving, I'm not moving

People talk about the guy who's waiting on a girl
Whooaahoo..
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world
Whooaahoo..

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
You'll come running to the corner
'cause you'll know it's just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
(Find you're missing me)
And your heart starts to wonder where on this Earth I could be
(Oh, where on earth I could be?)
Thinkin' maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
(To the place that we'd meet, ohhh)
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street
(On the corner of the street)
I'm the man who can't be moved

So I'm not moving
('Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me)
I'm not moving
(And your heart starts to wonder where on this Earth I could be)
I'm not moving
(Thinkin' maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet)
I'm not moving
(And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag. I'm not gonna move

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

++Breakeven

i love watching the details of minutes 2.07 - 2.08 - 2.09 of this video.

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

And when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even no.




I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,*
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even.

Her best days will be some of my worst,
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first,
While I'm wide awake, she's no trouble sleeping,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even no.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Coz she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks
no it don't break even, even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love
while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even)

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain,
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, oh.
'Coz you left me with no love, with no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing,
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in,
'Coz I got time while she got freedom,
'Coz when a heart breaks
no it don't break, no it don't
break, no it don't break even no.

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're ok
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love
while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces,
(Cuz when a heart breaks
no it don't break even)

Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, It don't break even, no

*if u r a muslim, DO NOT bernawaitu semasa menyanyikan lyric ini. think of the meaning of this song as a whole. or shud recite 'Just prayed to a god that I always believe in' everytime.

Monday, August 23, 2010

++the one with photo memories

do u notice 'photo memories' widget at the facebook's sidebar lately?
how does it feel dealing with those photos?

are u happy?

currently listening to:dakmie - yang terindah
currently feeling:lonely
i wanna be:a supermodel

Saturday, August 21, 2010

++Life is like a boat

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong




Life is Like a Boat
Vocals: Rie fu
Lyrics: Rie fu
Composition: Rie fu

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin’ and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on your way
The waves would guide you thru another day

I’m breathing in the distance, as if I’ve turned transparent
I thought it had gotten dark, but I was merely blindfolded

I offer a prayer and wait for a new day
To the ends of the ocean that shines vividly

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don’t give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

People’s hearts change, so I want to slip out
The moon in its new cycle brings along the boat again

And every time I see your face,
the oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
and soon I can see the shore

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I’d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

The journey is still continuing on, on the calm days, too
The moon in its new cycle begins to shine on the boat again

I offer a prayer and wait for a new day
To the ends of the ocean that shines vividly

And every time I see your face,
the oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
and soon I can see the shore

Rowing the boat of fate, the waves assault us one after the next
But that’s also a wonderful journey; they’re all wonderful journeys


Life is Like a Boat
Vocals: Rie fu

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who’s gonna comfort me, and keep me strong

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin’ and we can’t escape
But if we ever get lost on your way
The waves would guide you thru another day

Tooku de iki o shiteru toumei ni natta mitai
Kurayami ni omoeta kedo mekakushisareteta dake

Inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
Azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

Nobody knows who I really am
Maybe they just don’t give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come along
I know you would follow me, and keep me strong

Hito no kokoro wa utsuri yuku nukedashitaku naru
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune o tsureteku

And every time I see your face,
the oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
and soon I can see the shore

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I’d feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

Tabi wa mada tsuzuiteku odayaka na hi mo
Tsuki wa mata atarashii shuuki de fune o terashidasu

Inori o sasagete atarashii hi o matsu
Azayaka ni hikaru umi sono hate made

And every time I see your face,
the oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
and soon I can see the shore

Unmei no fune o kogi nami wa tsugi kara tsuki e to watashi-tachi o osou kedo
Sore mo suteki na tabi ne dore mo suteki na tabi ne
currently listening to:
currently feeling:
i wanna be:

Friday, August 20, 2010

++after 3 months

i cannot stand breaking-fast with mr.white wall anymore :((((
balik keje, tapau at pasar ramadan depan sooka sentral, balik rumah, tgu waktu bebuka, dan berbuka didepan TV seorg diri.
i have never felt so empty before!
kdg2 terkeluar ayor mate guek kedlm nasi utk menambahkan kemasinan nya.
this is cannot be! other peoples are moving on already,
anda maseh di takuk lame has1fah! berjuanglah!

hu hu hu semangat itu, yg kadang2 kuat, yg kadang2 lembek mcm agar2 :(
doakan saya kuat wahai kawan2.
another 3 months to go katenyer~

currently listening to: the scientist
currently feeling:sad
i wanna be:a supermodel

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

++baju kurung

FINALLY, after 6years an engineer*, today marks the 1st day that i wear
a BAJU KURUNG to the office.

*yeap, after that damn 6 years i am STIL an engineer, not a senior or principal engineer.
THANX to intra-department job-hopping. JGN buat lagi.

currently listening to:rahsia luna
currently feeling:lapar :(
i wanna be:a supermodel

Monday, August 16, 2010

++Love The Way You Lie

love this song too

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight



Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight
While I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High of a love
Drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She fucking hates me
And I love it
Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe
When you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you
Even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills
Used to get 'em
Now you're getting fucking sick
Of looking at 'em
You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom
And these words
When you spit 'em
You push
Pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down
Pin 'em
So lost in the moments
When you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best
To go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya
Cause today
That was yesterday
Yesterday is over
It's a different day
Sound like broken records
Playin' over
But you promised her
Next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things
Did things
That we didn't mean
And we fall back
Into the same patterns
Same routine
But your temper's just as bad
As mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love
You're just as blinded
Baby please come back
It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship
Isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens
When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is
I love you too much
To walk away though
Come inside
Pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity
In my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed
I'll aim my fist
At the dry wall
Next time
There will be no next time
I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed
And set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts
Just gonna stand there
And hear me cry
But that's alright
Because I love
The way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Thursday, August 12, 2010

++the one with the hussin



i dont understand!!! drpd mana dtgnye perkataan hussin tu :(
all the cc recipients pon takde name hussin.
nih mesti nak kaitkan aku dgn eja ni kan. eja mat husin :p
selalunye paling busuk pon, operator panggil aku hal1m, or abdul. nih hussin. adekah bakal mendapat suami bername hussin?
*kembali ceria for the latter case*

currently listening to:matchbox romance - tigerlily
currently feeling:tensed!!!
i wanna go back and sleep

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

++the one with the old movies run on in my mind

i was watching back all the old videos, especially the ones that got us all involved in it.
the ones uploaded by others.
the ones that literally* displayed the good old happy+happening us.

these are the times when it occur to me what if i had to cut all these relationship/s?
the relationship between me and his friends. and our friends. the kind that i made thru him. or together with him.

i mean, when we were both finally moved on, i mean me, when i finally moved on,
where should i put them friends of ours? can i still be friend with them?
should i keep? should i cut?
should i skip those gathering invitations? especially the ones that got both of us invited? should i just go and acted dumb?
i've been to some of it before this, awkward gile!!!
takkan nak putus kawan because of our breakup kot?

damn to the decision-making!

*ive been abusing the word literally nowadays, didnt i?
currently listening to:isabella by rubiksarmies-crew
currently feeling::(
i wanna be:a total mover!!!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

++Shontelle - Impossible

Love the song.
thanx S

Tell them all I know now, Shout it from the roof top,
Write it on the sky love, All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy, And my heart is broken
All my scars are open, Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible, Impossible, impossible
Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know





I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did, I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
I did
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Falling out of love is hard
Falling for betrayal is worst
Broken trust and broken hearts
I know, I know
Thinking all you need is there
Building faith on love is worst
Empty promises will wear
I know (i know)
And know when all is gone
There is nothing to say
And if you're done with embarrassing me
On your own you can go ahead tell them

Shontelle Impossible lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com.com/shontelle-impossible-lyrics.html
Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

Ooh impossible (yeah yeah)

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy (i was happy)
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible
Impossible, impossible

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did

Monday, August 9, 2010

++2months 20days

**There are things we don’t want to happen, but have to accept.
And people we don’t want to lose, but have to let go**


but, why oh why, why oh why, i am still crying?
:((

currently listening to:vertical horizon-best i ever had
currently feeling::(( sedih
i wannt a new BF!

Friday, August 6, 2010

++genap 4 months sober

Sober usually refers to sobriety, the state of not being under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

many had asked me whats the meaning of my soberness.
i wont answer. but dont worry about what, if i am already a sober, right?
actually, i dont know if i am really sober. but, hell, skip that.
duh?

lets pretend that i am sober from taking drugs,
the last time i took 'that drugs' was on april 5th. yeap, 4 months ago.
here's what i did/still do.
dont think about 'the drugs'.
think about foods.
dont think about 'the drugs' eventho deep within i was asking for it.
think about foods.
think about good foods.
think about delicious foods.
think about icecreams.
sometimes, i just look at the pictures of the 'drugs' to just let go of my eagerness or desperateness. it only help me crave MORE! DO NOT even peek at the pictures!
think about chocolates.
think about the scrumptious cheesecakes.

and guess what? i am 4 motnhs sober.


currently listening to:padi - semua tak sama
currently feeling:craving for the drugs
i wanna be:wholeheartedly sober

Thursday, August 5, 2010

++ You don't see me

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where i'm falling apart
Isnt this just where we met?
And is this the last chance that i'll ever get?
I wish i was lonely
Instead of just "only"
Crystal and see-through and not enough to you





This is the place where i sit
This is the part where i love you too much
This as hard as it gets
Cause i'm getting tired of pretending im tough
I'm here if you want me
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty, and achin'
and tumblin, and breakin'

Cause you dont see me
And you dont need me
And you dont love me
The way i wish you would
The way i know you could

I dream a world where you understand
And I dream a million sleepless nights
I dream of fire when you're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke when i turn on the light

I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends -
Nothing but good friends?

Cause you dont see me
And you dont need me
And you dont love me
The way i wish you would
The way i wish you would, ooh

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where i'm falling apart
Isnt this just where we met?
And is this the last chance that i'll ever get?
I wish i was lonely
Instead of just "only"
Crystal and see-through and not enough to you

Cause you dont see me
And you dont need me
And you dont love me
The way i wish you would

Cause you dont see me
And you dont need me
And you dont love me
The way i wish you would
The way i know you could

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

++out of loop

urggghhhhhhhhhhhhh
if u guys nak gaduh ka, nak main tarik2 kotey ka,
nak betumbok nak betarung nyawa or watsoever,
do as u guys please, but, please, let me OUT of the loop!!!
im trying to move on, here. and i dont wanna know!
i used to think that i am the most pathetic and pitiful person in the world before this, but, now, i think u r worst okeh. urgh. rimas!!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

++:(((((((((((((

:((((((((
i saw it!!
in somebody else's pic.
ya allah, ya allah, tolong kuatkan hati dan jiwa ini sekuatkuatnya.
dont feel bad for somebody else's happyness, has1fah!

AJA! AJA! fighting! BAKKSHAA!
berusahalah!

currently listening to:my girl
currently feeling:down
Please take me back to the start ya allah

Saturday, July 31, 2010

++Kosong

Tubuhku ada di sini
Tetapi tidak jiwaku
Kosong yang hanya kurasakan
Kau telah tinggal di hatiku




Kamu seperti hantu
Terus menghantuiku
Ke mana pun tubuhku pergi
Kau terus membayangi aku

Salahku biarkan kamu
Bermain dengan hatiku
Aku tak bisa memusnahkan
Kau dari pikiranku ini

Di dalam keramaian aku masih merasa sepi
Sendiri memikirkan kamu
Kau genggam hatiku
Dan kau tuliskan namamu
Kau tulis namamu

Tubuhku ada di sini
Tetapi tidak jiwaku
Kosong yang hanya kurasakan
Kau telah tinggal di hatiku

currently listening to:dewa
currently feeling:empty
i wanna be:alive!!!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

++Crumbs

And if she doesn't go your way
Look up to blue skies and say hey
It's ok it's ok



Big world
Says he wants to see the light for once,
Well maybe if you try

It's so sad
Babe don't look so sad
I've got it wrong today

And if she doesn't go your way
Look up to blue skies and say hey
It's ok it's ok


Big world
Says he wants to see the light for once,
Well maybe if you try

It's so sad
Babe don't look so sad
I've got it wrong today
Wrong today

And if she doesn't go your way
Look up to blue skies and say hey
It's ok it's ok

c/o

Big world
Says he wants to see the light for once,
Well maybe if you try

It's so sad
Babe don't look so sad
I've got it wrong today

Says he wants to see the light for once,
Well maybe if you try

It's so sad
Babe don't look so sad
I've got it wrong today