there are songs that make us want to dance,
songs that make us want to sing along,
but the best songs are the ones that bring you back to the moment you first heard them,
and once again break your heart.
im currently unwell and on hiatus and craves for so many things.
i was reading the twitter timeline yesterday that a phrase catch me and get to me and i was like stressing over the fact that it is so true and it reads like this:
tom hardy once said: "Being alone for a while is dangerous. It's addicting. Once you see how peaceful it is, you dont even want to deal with people anymore"
KANNNNNNN!!!!
shit man.
i think, i feel, like, i am at that stage.
eh tak tak. tak kot. eh entahlah.
currently listening to:driver's license
currently feeling:unwell
i wanna be:in scotland!
i've been hooked and merempan2 in twitter instead, nowadays.
dan sgtlah rajin ig-storying in instagram.
so why bother updating blog? sbb entahlah ni, tetibe rajin.
what's up people who still reads blog?
how are you?
do u ever commented in this blog, or in any other blogs?
why are u reading this boring blog?
skrg ni, twitter pon aku dah tak terkejar, byk gila posting menarik, especially the comments part, utk di baca, the threads, many threads, citer hantu la, politik la, resipi la, gosipla, rahsia negara la.
so many unknown, unbeknownst to us. gituh.
ada bende yg aku x rempan lagi dlm twitter? nothing rasenye, sane (in my private account, not my public account, yes, i have several accounts), i let it out loud. yg private account tu mmg xde follower sgt, just some close friends, dan kekawan yg aku kenallah jugak. so, aku bebas berteriak, mengumpat, gossip, komen, mengutarakan pendapat tanpa dikecam netizen, dan meroyan2 emo-ing about anything.
oklah, summary kpd posting ini ialah, jom kite ke twitter.
haha.
so last-last month i've been hit by a car, my car was being hit by another car, on road, during a traffic jam. yeah i know, semua salah pelanggar lah. i think he was using his phone kot, bam, langgar aku.
but that's not what im gonna write.
aku nak cakap pasal hukum, something like karma.
for me, setiap yg terjadi, mesti ade sebab kenape nak terjadi kat diri kita.
aku rase aku dah bukan mcm dulu, no more total finger pointing sumpah seranah org sahaja.
sekarang ni, each time aku ditimpa musibah, di tipu hidup2, di beri sebuah problem besar,
aku slow slow akan start muhasabah diri sendiri, there must be something that i did to cause this..
it can be anything.
like tidak memudahkan org lain menggunakan jalan contohnya, or tengok je makcik duduk tepi lrt tu without hulur duit, or berlagak dgn ofismet, or tipu parents (ni mmg terpaling!), or mengeluh bila kena suruh.
contohnya ade sekali tu, ade org nak potong queue kat jalan, and i didnot help him, (who knows maybe he really urgent or he was out from some simpang x dpt nak masuk the main lane or something else kan), pastu esoknye, aku pulak yg urgently need to keluar from simpang rumah (from guard house) to the main road, tp sorg pon taknak bagi i lalu :((
(gerammmmm sgt tp cpt cpt istighfar sbb padan muka aku, semalam sombong kan taknak bagi org menyelit kan!)
haa gitu. contoh paling cpt Allah kasi balasan cash didunia
balasan kat akhirat tu toksah ckp sbb belom lagi kan.
so think think think, each time, aku nak selfish ke, susahkan org ke, susahkan parents! terutamanya, tipu sesape ke, berlagak ke, being hipokrit ke, think of all the karma that will return back,
maybe not at the same types of perbuatan yg kite telah lakukan,
maybe susahkan org dibalas dgn ditipu org,
maybe menipu org dibalas dgn kemiskinan,
maybe being hipokrit menipu sosial by being konon alim dan holier than thou dibalas dgn penyakit2 misteri,
maybe jugak menindas org lemah dibalas dgn dpt bonus ciputtttttttt je. huhuhu.
(skrg ni, aku tgh ditipu ni. maybe inilah salah satu balasan sbb aku degil, malas dan tak belanja ofismet kot)
stop blaming other people.
stop thinking about what people do to you.
start reflecting diri sendiri.
start giving, caring for people you love, start senangkan hidup org.
jika kita susahkan hidup org lain, Allah akan susahkan hidup kita.
tapi jika kite senangkan hidup org lain, keluarga kita, kekawan kita, insyaAllah, segalanya dipermudahkan sahaja urusan kita.
Nampaknya, seperti biasa, janji tinggal janji ya. Byk gila benda tak tercerita.Wey, kalo korg pelupa mcm aku, aku rase, writing things in blog best sgt boleh kembalikan byk nostalgia.
Some people prefer to keep it in a diary, for me, diary boleh hiang, berat, sukar. blog ni, ko bole bukak anywhere.
Oklah, this time, a ramblings about our Jakarta Tai-Tai trip.
A trip to mostly, relax, being happy, gossip, santai-santai aja. setiap hari kami hanya makan, gi urut, lepak, makan, tido, repeat.
If it is up to me, i would have been forgotten about all these funny things, happened, during our trip, tapi, nasebaik si cikcur (FS) ni dok menulis semua benda yg terjadi kat henfon dia. BRAVO cikcur!
So, im gonna paste here, and will elaborate the ones yg aku ingat.
1. Jual cabe utk pojan, shopee rm6
- bende kelakar ni ialah sbb pojan dok instatorykan betapa dia beli banyak2 cabe jakarta ni, (rujuk gamba), kat shoppee dgn harga RM6. so si MMTK dgn senyumannya, berkata, "baiklah! aku nak beli bebyk dan jual kat pojan!" (sbb kat jakarta harga nye rm3 sejah).
- tatau kenape takde nombor 2 ni pacat???
3. Gosok hilang parut/perut8
- ok ni terjadi mase tgh massage on the 1st day. semasa tukang urut tgh scrubbing, aku tanye dia, scrub2 ni boleke hilangkan parut? yg mengurut tu tekejut dan tanya balik : "hilangkan perut??"
pastu aku dgr si cikcur tergelak dari bilik sebelah. Jibaka!
- ralat: sebelah bilik massage aku ialah bilik nyza. so dia kot yg gelakkan aku dari bilik sebelah.
4. Cp ditutup bdn. Org lain tak. Mebi sbb aku tayangkn centu je.
- ahahahahha. bodola pacat ni, ni pon dia nak tulis.
this is when pengurut dah lumur scrub, so lepastu dia biarkan kami kering. diorg ni kesejukkan sbb tak ditutup dgn towel. "aku ditutup. maybe sbb aku tayangkan centu je?"
5. Malas nk lyn aku. Mak aku anta anak skul agama
- kami bercerita mengenai si muzium kot mase ni. sbb dlm twidder, kami diskas pasal citer2 nostalgia zaman sek rendah. si muzium ni, punyala banyak tv yg dia xtau/xtgk. so kami dok cakap, oh maybe sbb johor ade sekolah agama petang2 kot. pastu aku pon cakapla, eh aku pon sek agama. setiap petang. maybe sbb mak aku malas nak layan aku, dia anta aku gi sek agama pepetang.
6. Check price gadien n hypermart: yes kita juara
- ni definitely si MMTK. setelah bershopping gala di guardian plaza gajah mada, baru kami pergi ke hypermarket. MMTK dah risau, cis apsal kite dah membelibelah dulu without checking harga tempat lain. so dia terus menggelupur pergi cek price2 brg22 yg kami perli di guardian tadi. "Yes, hypermart ni lagi mahal! kita juara!"
7. Org tu dh X de idea dh nk urut
- ahahhahahaha. sambil menaip pon aku nak tegelak ni. ni ayat siapa ya. pacat kot.
kesahnya, bila mana, urut lama sangat, sampai pengurut tu dah xde idea nak urut ape dah... ahahahha
8. Jambu thailand mahal? kita g thailand je
- so mase jejalan di plaza gajah mada ni, aku dan nyza ternampakla jambu thailand yg nampak enak, tp mahal.
2-3 kali kami lalu dan mcm nak beli tp x beli2 sbb memikir dia mahal.
selepas tu, mase dah duduk nak makan dgn si mmtk:
MMTK jawab: ha, bape inggit?
kitorang: hmm... mcm dl 6 hengget. mahal gak kan?
MMTK: AAAHHHH, MAHAL! Takyah beli jambu thailand tu! Kalau nk mkn jambu thailand, kita gi thailand aje!
9. Air? inilah air aku (bakso)
- ini mase tgh order2 bakso. waiter tanye nak minum apa. semua org dah order air. so bila dia tanya kat aku nak minum apa. aku cakapla, ini la air aku: air bakso tu.
-ok ini ralat utk explanation item no,9 ni, ni explanation sebenar from the diary-writer: cikcur:
Ni adalah bila MMTK lembap dtg terhegeh2 nk order (sbb dia gi beli apatah dkt atas smpi dtg lewat ke restoran). Dia kan suka nk meniru2 kau CP. Ms tu ko n nyza punya dh smpi dan ko dh mcm start mkn. Then MMTK belek2 menu, waiter dtg tnya nk mkn apa, MMTK pon MCM TUNJUK KO PUNYA SMBIL TANYA: KO MKN APA cp? ko minum apa?
CP jwab la makan sekian2. Then ms MMTK nyer soklan ke 2 tu la ko tunjuk mangkuk kau dgn ketakutan dan jawab: ni la air akuuu
10. Pbahagian brownies 2 opis, tinggal 8. 1 bg PT. Mak dia mkn, sblpb dh tahu jadual bila jmpa dokter. Taktik org tua. Mak nyza pon minom mengkudu
ok, aku IF skarang!
*dan bila tiba waktu makan seterusnya, dia tetap makan sebaldi lagi
- ini perbincangan mengenai mak mak masing2 yg dah tau jadual bila nak jumpa doktor utk check gula/darah.
mak MMTK tu kencing manis, tp dah tau dah seminggu b4 jumpa doktor baru la tak makan manis segala.
mak Nyza lak, seminggu sebelom jumpa doktor barula minum segala jus mengkudu bagai.
11. Minum air kosong dr muda, kena gak trus minum air gas all the way.
ini bapak nyza. punyala dari kecik tak minum manis. akhirnye dah tua ni, ade gak kencing manis. NAH hamekkau, terus dia minum carbonated drinks setiap hari! ahahhaha
12. Cebisan ats meja wanton lipstik cp, dia amek ltk dlmangkuk dia
- ini MMTK tuh. refer gamba bakso aku diatas tadi. ade wantan dan aku taknak, so aku kasi cikcur. tp aku dah gigit sikit. so cikcur patahkan bahagian yg aku gigit tu sbb ade kesan lipstik aku, dia letak cebisan tu atas meja.
tiba2 magically, cebisan tu dah takde. rupa rupa nya MMTK dah makan! ahahahhahahahaha
13. Aku akn IF lps ni (mkn sebaldi)
- ini semorg esp nyza. dari awal nak IF nak IF. tp tiap hari makan sebaldi.
- ini ayat cikcur:
Ms ni IF baru dibincang dlm grup so mcm berazam nk IF. Masalahnya ttiap kali time makan, Nyza (terutamanya) makan sebaldi smpi kenyang, lepas tu declare dgn bagga:
14. Cp wax misai smpi janggut: aku lelaki sbenarnya
- ya! aku sebenarnye lelaki ke?
- ralat, ini ayat cikcur:
aku bgtau kos waxing mahal dkt sini... and aku buat misai. ko x nak kalah bgtau ko buat misai+janggut. aku terkejut lalu kau kaver malu dan kata: ha... aku lelaki sbenarnya...
15. Tutup dagu bila bgambar
- ini aku. ferreal. dagu mcm lembu!
16. Irn suh buat love dkt tetek
- ini ape? aku dah lupa.
- ayat cikcur:
Kita amek gmbr ramai2, irina x puas ati sbb dia mcm pose tersasar lalu nmpk mcm tetek dia tersembul. maka dia terus arahkan: alaaa.... CP, nnti ko buat love (sticker) dkt tetek aku ye?
17. Nyza mkn jatuh, kesat msk mulot irn suka mcm inzal
- ini ape? aku dah lupa.
- ayat ckcur:
kita di J Co ms mlm tu, then Nyza mkn donut yg ada filling kot. dia gigit belah ni, filling tu terkeluar belah sana lalu jatuh atas baju dia. nyza kesat guna tisu, MMTK buat muka x puas ati... rugi2 dia kata. Then nyza ggit lg skali, pon terkeluar belah sana dan menitik lagi. kali ni nyza guna jari scoop icing dan suap dlm mulut. terus MMTK: haaaaa......... *muka puas ati inzal gila
18. X sedar totok. Cp kata dia x buat and tinggalkn aje
- ahahahahah ya! aku punyalah kesedapan di totok wajah (facial/head massage yg sedap gila). sampai tetido2 aku. tp si MMTK ckp, dia tetido sampai x sedar langsung bila masa diorg totok wajah dia. aku rase, diorg tak totok pon wajah irina sbb masakan dia x terjaga langsung? kan!?
19. D xandra inspired. Ada org tiru dxandra
- ini MMTK lagi. kitorg dok wonder kenape lah nak beli perfume inspired mcm dxandra tu, dan kenapa la dxandra yg inspired perfume je tu pon nak diciplak org! ruparupanya si MMTK tu pon antara pembeliya!
20. Bau pc kamel library.
- ini puas aku ingatkan semorg. kenape takde sape ingat ek. pakcik kamel, our pakcik yg jaga library sekolah, ada bau perfume kuat yg aku ingat sampai skrg. tapi xde sape ingat. huhu.
21. X sedar gmbr aksi makan kepala cp by pacat ms minum j co. Biri x sedar. Rupanya tgk diri
sendrek aje.
- ini mmg teruk tau! kite dok diskas dan gelakkan pacat dok makan kepala aku, si mmtk ni dok tgk diri sendiri je!
22. Lama sket crembath segala dr sblm ni
- ni katmane cikcur?
23. Lapar smpi beli nasik 5 org
- ini biase
24. Nyza - x kesah apa masaj ke cream bath ke yg penting aku disentuhi.
- ahahahha ni mase hari pertama sampai hotel, lepas check in dan lempar segala beg, kami terus begegas nak cari tempat massage. dan berdasarkan rating dlm intenet, katanya pusat massage delta spa ni bagus bangat. kami pon gigih jalan ke delta spa yg terhampir dgn hotel, sbb dekat. bila sampai je depan pintu dia yg ala ala suram suram mistik tuh, pak guard terus jerkah kami " heyy, ini utk priya sahaja!"
wow garangnya pakgad. apakah maknanya semua ini!
rupa rupanya! itu pusat massaga org2 lelaki weh! we donno for sure what's inside, apa perkhidmatannya, sgt lah nggak kejelasan. maka dgn perasaan sedih itu, kami pon gigih la cari pusat spa lain yg dekat2. jumpa la tempat kedua ni, x ingat apa namanya, takde massage la pulak, hanya ada facial dan meruncing2 wajah ke ape tah lupa dah... saddihhhhh sgt. terus rase ahhhh...
maka kami pon google lagi ape pusat2 yg ade, massage ke, salon ke, anything la sampai nyza cakap:
"aku x kesah lah massage ke, buat rambut ke, manicure ke, apepela asalkan aku di sentuhhinnnn!"
ahahahhahahaha
25. Mintak refill jar cokelat, tp smpi sudah x dtg. Kalau tahu aku korek smpi habis. Now, apa aku nk buat dgn roti ni?
- ini mase breakfast di hotel. si mmtk tgk balang coklat spread tu dah licin, maka dia suruh waiter tu refill, dan waiter tu pon amekla balang tu utk refill. tapai selepas beberapa ketika still x muncul2, sampai aku cakap ahh takdenye dia refill, ko berhenti berharap sejahh.. so mmtk pon seddeyh sbb dia dah bakar siap siap dah roti utk makan dgn coklat spread tu ahahhahahhahaha. dan rase rugi x licinkan balang tu bebetul b4 serahkan kat waiter tuh.
26. Jimat data, last day tinggal 1.3 lagi!
- ini mmg heren, aku punyalah bejimat2 data sbb taknak jadi mcm kat canada x cukup data tu sbb buat igstory. tetibe mase lastday tgk tgk ade lagi 1.3gb! whatttt???
27. Cp - mungkin data ditambah sec diam
- ayat pacat ialah:
rentetan item 26.... korang mcm x percaya knapa data still byk gila. lalu ko berteori - mungkin data ditambah sec diam
hahahahahahah bodonyaaa
28. SELASA: Nk buat Insta stori byk - biar org keje baca. Sape suh kau keje?
- ayat pacat:
ko mintak opinion nyza... ms kita nk balik tu sbb nk abiskan data agaknya. ko tnya: eh, ok ke kalu aku uplod byk2 igs ek? org2 yg tgh keje mesti nyampah ngan hapload melambak2 aku ni. nyza kata eh igs kau, sukati kau la nk hapload byk bila2 masa!
ko mdpt sokongan rakan terus naik ekor: hah, biar la kan org keje baca. Sape suh kau keje?*ttibahhh kau jaki ngan org yg tgh keje
- hikhik sorry gaesss
29. Luggage balut x kuarkn tali. Buat tali sendrek cp x puas ati. Dia nk sling bag
- hehe. yela. alang2 buat tangkai luggage tuh, buatla terus sling nya kan?
30. Lorong tepi - mesti aku x muat
31. Balut sendiri clingwrap, smpi klia kluar dr kelongsong
- ini mase di canada. punyala berjimat sampai beli sendiri clingwrap dan wrap sendiri, akhirnye boot aku terkeluar dari kelongsong cling wrap tuh :(
32. Telekung syurga
- Ni si nyza yg sgt berpuashati dgn telekong mahalnya yg alala konfem masuk syurga. telekong syurga katenye.
33. Tanah abang jd tanah saudara
34. Wardah dr lipstick jd smpi ke syampu
- well, aku beli segalagala jenis produk keluaran wardah ni. sampai shampoo pon aku nk beli, tp nasebaik shampoo kat rumah byk lagi, so aku beli conditoner je (skrg dah habis ok!)
35. X tenggelam perut
- ini pon aku. mase mandi milk bath dlm bathtub marthatilaar. perut tak tenggelam. sedih . :( sbb buncit. :(
this is just a ranting post.
not about food, nor about travels.
aku suke suara ippo hafiz. tengah suka. suara dia alala indonesian style, mcm once, mcm ungu, mcm afgan, mcm mcm.
aku tgh dlm dilema nak beli jam apa.
first of all, i wanted a Smart Watch. bukan jam biasa, dan bukan jam sukan, as i am not a gym freak or active person.
But there are a few specs/smart thingy that i needed this watch to cater for me,
like sleep monitor, heart rate, stress tracker, swimming, smart notifications, text response, bluetooth, wifi, remote camera, steps, (i know that currently i can just track and sync my steps using my phone je, but phone x accurate, and i dont bring my phone to all places at a time of place)(paham idok?)
aku suke gila, nak sgt apple watch series 4 (large (44mm) tuh), but
1) the one with cellular version is still not available in malaysia (walaupon max1s dah offer esim (but esim for iphone)(boleke masuk dlm apple watch?)(dunno yet, malas nak baca forum)).
the nearest option is to buy from singapore apple store, to which i'm so lazy la, nnti jadi apepe, malas nak pikir. and
2) 2ndly, i heard rumours (or maybe ni bukan rumors, ni mmg true news), that apple watch will also analyse sleep (which the current version lack of).
so im back at googling about garmin watches.
since im so into apple watches, i'm forecasting that, i will, soon, buy the apple watch, once they released the cellular + sleep analysis version in malaysia,
so, i'm thinking of buying a temporary garmin watch.. i might be wearing this for maybe 1year plus (sbb apple watch with sleep analysis tu maybe keluar tahun depan 2020).
after shortlisting from few of the series, i came out with 2 options.
either vivosmart4 or vivoactive. i am in dilemma now.
they both have all the smart-function that i needed now, and also both are within budget (budget yg akan tukar jam after a year), but, vivosmart4 has a pulse OX function that the vivoactive lack of and it is half the price of vivoactive.
while, vivoactive got GPS and it is big watch, like my normal big watch (aku suke pakai jam besar2, x suke yg kekecik ni).
so, i really need to, takafur now.
haha.
garmin vivosmart4: has pulse OX & half vivoactive price
garmin vivoactive3: has gps & big like normal watch
Our little laha but solo&yolo(kononnya) group, who are always bitter but always stand up for each other (literally, backing up any ketakpuashatian anyone in the group) had an argument yesterday.
BE posted this survey below and need everyone's answer.
Would you rather:
a) kawin dgn org yg baik, tp hudduh pun xpe janji kawin
b) kawin dgn org miskin, tp baik
c) kawin dgn org yg jahat, tp hensem dan rupa boleh ditayang
d) kawin dgn kaya raya tp kaki pukul
e) persetankan semua ini baik xyah kawin!
we mostly settled with an E.
tp ada sorg tu nak D. (dia mmg saiko dan gila ahahahahahha).
and we we arguing her choice!
yelah, ko sanggopppp dipukul?
(oh what would people do for love kan, im not condemning other people, i would become one too, if i've loved the person, bertahan sbb cinta itu. but we take it that this question is when we know that person is rich and kakipukul upfront, sebelom bercinta lagi dah tau dah)
maka si D ni telah dikecam. but she also came out with few strategies, which i doubt she'll win, tp takpelah, bukan betul pon nih.
takde sape perfect! NOBODY's perfect.
at this age, i would rather end up with an ugly person but kayaraya but there is no option for that, cis!!! dulu2 mase masih muda, i wouldnt mind lelaki miskin asalkan baikhati, but not at this age, aaku dah malas! malas nak tunggu lelaki miskin baikhati nak kat aku pastu aku sengsara kene tanggung segala! lepastu bila dia dah beduit sikit dia sesukehati suke onglain dgn alasan people changed, watdefak???(eh emo pulak)
MAKANYA, tak kawenla kami semua ni kan.
semuanya dasar memilih sesgt. ahaha.
(yela, bangga sgt ko dah kawen kan, tp ko suke laki lain gak akhirnye, so tayah nak keychiohh!)
ah, tidak dipilih dikatakan memilih!
kekdg kami tidaklah memilih sesgt kot, dari dulu lagi.
tp lelaki yg memilih!
nak yg kurus aja, yg putih aja, yg pandai itu pandai ini, yg sopan santun, lemah lembut, suara halus persis x dengar bila bercakap.
pastu pompuan ko tu high maintenance, ko pulak yg kecoh.
pastu komplen, perempuan ni pandai melawa je, tp rumah besepah.
ko NAK sgt kan pompuan lawa kurus keding x makan!, ko amekla pompuan tertib ko tu sbb dia x kesah pon x makan, ko makanla mamak ko tu tiap malam!
wah kenape aku emo sgt nih weh.
dah bawak mengucap.
sambung keje.
currently listening to:cintakan membawamu kembali
currently feeling:emo
i wanna be:rich
fast messy little thing about teenage insecurity that I just wanted to scribble out cause it was on my mind for some reason. (be kind to people because you never know how your words might impact them!) To everyone else who's ever hated their appearance (which let's be real, is probably everyone reading this right now), I feel you. there's good days and bad days but hopefully more good than bad. have a great night! best, Kat
I wanted to share this sweet posting from a tumblr blog about people insecurities, mainly from what was taken from other people's comment/s.
I was once a victim.
Especially after my ever expanding body.
There were some (if not all) people who loves to make fun of physical appearances, what with the name calling and laughing at my back (or maybe in front)
And i cannot stress enough that, it matters.
Especially when i am feeling like i am actually alone , in this world.
I dunno how u might feel about people belittle-ing u, maybe u have the confidence of a beyonce, but, i hope one day u will become kind, maybe not with your words, but cukuplah with your heart. Inside.
The new mrt services is finally here.
Do u know that i was the advisor, for this project?
Because i live in dam4nsara and i always commute to k4jang, so i proposed this new line. 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻🙄🙄🙄
Ahahahhaha kidding.
But, commuting from d4mansara-k4jang is soooo much easier now!!!
and i havent settled down, or
maybe, just maybe i am already settled, with this kind of life.
yaknow, this 'no partner, no kid/s, no big commitment''s life,
and i can migrate to whichever place, whenever i want to (except of course i dont have the money & maybe the energy).
last weekend when i discussed the idea of saving, with abcxyz, i told him i dont have the asb saving.
if i die tomorrow, i think my insurance can cover my debt (creditcards), (nih i think), and i dont have any children, so dont have to save money for their education watsoeva.
giler narrow minded kan.
but that's that.
that's when i am so content with my life that i dont think i am being rational.
what if i dont die, but i met with an accident and paralyzed.
wah takotnyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
nauzubillahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
ok entry ini ter stop disini kerana saya sudah jiwa kacau pula nya.
currently listening to:stay the night
currently feeling:scared
i wanna be:richhhhhhhhh
i know how lameeeeeeee (and bbnu) this post is.
but i've colored the crown recently.
and i love the color and for the first time in my mid 30s, i felt like keeping it long and i wanna do it again, with many shades.
well picture was taken right after the hairdresser hairblowed my hair.
now that it wasnt, ia mcm mop lantai yg gersang dan kering. ahahahahhahah
currently listening to:konayuki
currently feeling:kenyanggggg
i wanna be:supermodellllll
alamak. i only wrote 2days NZ story so far je ek. so, i have like 12more days story to tell, but i am super busy.
tidaklah busy mcm pakmenteri pon.
but, i dunno, days went by so fast nowadays huh. tuptup dah jumaat. yay for the weekend, but then, tuptup wah dah SEPTEMBER yall!
wahhhhhhhh! i am almost 18! (wink)
i have like dozens of photobook i cant finish and expiring err maybe this week?or nextweek?
erghhhhhhhhh!
i've been nomading thekubur these past many few weeks. one is because the ir3land people were back in malaysia for a month, last month. two, because then, 1ndukna is here, and i am becoming more and more like a snorlax each passing days. she made me and ab ate rice everynite.. and we were home like way past 9pm, and then eat, yadayadayada and then sleep.. i cannt help it.
and then, there's the pokem0ngo.
yeap that not so latest mobile game.
the 1st 2-3weeks were quite exhilarating actually.
with some partner in crime like poey, we went to the extend of camping in at taman astakona yg popular with pikachu hunters tuh. not exactly camping la, but we sat there from after works until gelap kot.
for many days. and i was one of those people, eyes locked in screen, walking towards watever the direction of the pikachu spawned. but the joy was to meet few other pokemon trainers there, some were so generous story-telling their funny-experience/s or tips. sometimes, eventho it was not told right at my face, they told it very loud, i cant help eavesdropping. and i know, they meant to share. hehe.
lastweek for instance, i sat at a bench with few random people. there's this girl excitedly telling other stranger about her experience in titwangsa, or lrt, or dataran merdeka.
i cant help but smile (dendiam) sometimes.
but she had me at one line. "skrg, aku dah paham dah camana perasaan korang yg gamers ni, really addicted dow main game nih"
she meant the gamers = bebudak yg ngadap depan console-tv/pc 24jam xbleh begerak even makan.
i meant, NO! no u just didnt!
u cannot (ever) samakan pemain2 tegar game (yg mcm dota ke apepe tuh) with some mobile games wehhhhh. no it is not the same. at all.
haiyo.
i know i am also not one of the gamers. but, i am pretty sure, they (the real) gamers know what i mean.
i didnt correct her ofcourse. aku hanya bekerut kening diatas kenyataan dia.
ok back to the game.
as i was saying, it was thrilling at the first 2-3weeks.
especially when we got a rare pokemon. especially when we have friends who plays too.
so, excited sikitla bole menunjuk2 sesame kekawan. (altho i am the lowest one, there's no pokestop/pokemon near office, so bowring).
and then ab joined the bandwagon, bertambah2 lah excited & the thrilled.
he is the kiasu type, who drove all the way to bangsar to catch the snorlax. but he only aimed at the kuat2/rare ones. like snorlax, dragonite or gyarados.
there was a nite when i was in shower and he screamed that there's a rare mon nearby, and he is so kiasu he asked me to stop watever i am doing!, so i didnt shampooed, not even sabun and quickly went out to hunt for that little rare pokemon.
fuh. semangat dia. annoying but exciting!
not until he found a trick recently.
and he taught me using it. where we can play it very easily.
this is like watching an uggun api fire, slowly fading. with drops of water.
i didnt feel those excitement of the few early weeks playing it anymore.
no more perasaan meluap2 nak gi taman astakona to tangkap pikachu anymore.
no more those excitement of collecting the magikarp candies (kene collect 400candies tuh).
no more those excitement of showing off some rare pokemon i found at any rarest place.
or the excitement of watching the egg hatch.
huhu.
i still play tho, but not with the excitement.
mcm perasaan main minesweeper dah.
gitiu.
and no, i cant turn back. this is like u cant become a virgin after uve been fucked. gitiu sekali lagi.
currently listening to:-
currently feeling:fine
i wanna be:rich
I know right.
Yesterday i was so furious about everything.
From swearing of getting way toooo many (repetitive) photos of the shooting tragedy at setapak that were send from many different groups in whatsap (yeah same pictures and videos shared by so many people fucking thinking that they were the first ones getting it so the need to passing it!!)
Urghhhh
And then i was furious at sooo many boomerang videos that urghh soooo yesterday and sooo annoyinggg
And then the selfies with the snapchat's filters. Urghhhhh! I know i am one of those who felt really pretty especially using the flower on the head filter tuh, but do u have to instagram thenm? Sekali cukop la. Tayahla bajet lawa nak insta kan sokmo.
Simpan sendiri or share between close friends maybe in whatsapp or the snapchat itself. Dont annoys other people lah.
I know right! I was sooo bitter yesterday.
And tonite. Tonite i am sooo melancholic.
With so many old emotional conversations running in my mind. Like the question from R lastlastwik: videl, why are u still here? Kau sgt sabar kan?
And the unanswered msg.
And the unorganized store room. This one, majorly.
It is to be all ears when a person is complaining, or ranting, no matter how boring the topic is, no matter how insignificant and no matter how many circles it has rounded before.
A person can mean my person, or my half person, or just a simple close person. Not necessarily someone who slept with me or a very very close buddy.
Anyone can be the person, but ofcourse, not anyone i hate or i pissed off with.
I know i wanted someone to listen to me when im in that situation.
A situation when u wanted to scream takpuashati! Or ranting about something or anything.
harini nak cerita pasal perfume.
sbg seorg yg setia, aku mmg jenis kalo dah suke satu perfume tu, aku balik2 beli perfume yg sameeeeeee je.
dulu2 aku suka gila ck be. botol hitam. dia punye aftertaste (bila dah campo peloh badan), mcm bau bedak. ofismet aku dulu2 la suke ckp, ko ni bau bedak la. ai laik.
aku rase mcm dah ade more than 5 bottles sbb asyik asyik ulang beli perfume ni je.
tp, yg sebenabenanya, yg aku paling suka ialah ralph lauren blue seperti gamba diatas.
mula2 hidu terus jatuh chenta.
dulu2 before gi uk, xyz yg belikan, aku siap bawak gi uk sbb syg sgt. pakai pon alala jimat cermat sbb meskenhina kan.
lepas balik, perfume ni dah distopkan penjualannya.
why????
sakitnye hati kite.
lama gila aku carik x jumpajumpa. tetiap kedai perfume mesti aku carik, even at mitsui pon xde. mysale pon xde. strawberrynet pon xde.
sampaila lastyear, AB (dan xyz adalah org yg same) went to HK. dia jumpanya!
yes sgt! ailapyuh ralph blue! he bought it for me, nasebaik botol besar terus (seperti gamba diatas).
simpan dan pakai jimat cermat gila babi.
hanya akan pakai on spesel occasion kekdahnye.
harap2 ia x basi. (perfume bole basi dop?)
skrg bila pikir2 balik, nyesal x mintak 8botol!
currently listening to:nothing
currently feeling:empty
i wanna be:rich.
hehe aku pasti dikecam diatas pengeluaran video ni,
but im so glad i have these people in my life
and im so glad we recorded this
and im so glad i've uploaded it in youtube wayy before my harddisk crashed.
i'm glad.
we were bored waiting for the fireworks on imah's condo rooftop,
and we recorded few karaoke syok sendiri sesh.
sorg pegang camera, sorg pegang lyrics, sorg pegang flashlight.
ahahahahhahahah budus giler.
currently listening to:jodoh pasti bertemu
currently feeling:loved~
i wanna be:richhhhhhhhhhhh
harini ramai org dok share/fwd kenangan2 diorg dgn phone nokia.
to be honest, ya aku x terkecuali berkenangan manis sgt dgn nokia ni.
my first phone was a nokia.
i was among the poor ones in uni, i only managed to buy the phone after my 2nd year at uni.
tu pon beli peachy punya, she wanted to letgo sbb nak beli baru.
sedih pulak daku mengenangkan kemiskinan ku dizaman itu.
i dunno / cant remember which model, but it look something like this:
besar gedabak dan berat, kalo baling kat kepala konfem pengsan ni.
selepas beberapa ketika, aku mula kumpul duit (dan bekerja di amcorp mall part time sambil, well, mengedate tody baby) dan membeli pula henfon gemok pendek ni:
nokia 3310
wow, punyala aku bejimat cermat nak beli henfon ni yg maybe murah gila kot utk org lain, tp tidakkk bagi aku. aku hidop atas duit scholar petr0nas tu je... so aku mmg xde kemewahan hakiki.
dan, aku rase dlm byk2 phone, 3310 paling cute sampai skrg aku rase ia cute.
serius kiut. aku mmg suke betul bebende gemok pendek ni kot. amm amm.
lama aku guna.
aku x ingat actually adakah aku gunanya sehingga my 1st job at d4mansaraperdana itu.
the bridge between 3310 and 6100 was quite blur.
sehinggalah nokia mengeluarkan phone with colored screen. aku mula menggelenya dan meukar pula kpd phone ini sekitar tahun 2003 or 2004 kot:
nokia 6100
yg ni aku suka sbb bunyi dah start polyphonic (3310 monotonic kot?)
dan colored screen ofkos. mcmkan bole nak begamba gamba sgt kan. takdo gunonyo pon berwarna pon.
ini sebuah video aku dgn phone ni: (wow siap ada rakaman video)
aku tatau aku bergayut dgn siapa, tp i knew it was about our trip to tioman dulu, dan aku tatau aku ignore call siapa, most probably si siksaikel lah kot yg ku ignore tp kenapa? hnmmm
tapi, kecanduan berhenfon canggih (lah jugak time tuh), tidak berpanjangan.
aku tertinggalnya dlm panggung wayang di midvalley megamall tuh.
fuh.instead of aku dipujuk sbb nangih henfon hilang, aku dijerkah pula oleh si naga ex-bf (siksaikel) tersebut... dasar sungguh.
nasebaik aku ade memblognya dulu sbg bukti :http://videlcute.blogspot.my/2004/07/012-6158695.html
hehe.
and that was only around 2months before my flight to UK.
takkan la nak membeli phone baru kan. aku gila sekejap mase tu.
duit mmg ketegangan sgt. dgn nak kene beli laptop lagi, nak beli winter clothes lagi, buat visa buat passport bagai. hampir je aku rase nak givap dan xjadi fly.
tp nasebaik jugak lelaki naga tadi telah memberi kata2 semangat utk meneruskan nya. dan meneman aku kesane kemari menyetelkan visa passport semua tuh.
ikotkan mak aku, dia dah ckp tapayah dah. huh.
walopon begitu, lelaki naga takdapat membantu dari segi uwang, dia miskin gila mase tu (skrg dah kaya, dia lupakan aku, chibai punye botak!)
so, dia x dptla nak sweet2 bagi aku phone baru ke ape.
makanya, aku tataula cemane, si cana (nama irc x-americana tu sbb dipanggil cana, nama sebenanya f4hmi) (yg kaya mase tu sbb dah keje kat c3lcom rasenye) dtg membawa sinar. seriously like a knight in shining armor. ;))
dia la yg kasi aku pinjam phone dia ni. nokia juga, tp tataula ape jenisnya, tp yg mcm didlm gamba dibawah.
nokia camni
canggih juga phone nya utk ketegeri zaman tersebut (2004). polyphonic and colored screen.
ok, kemudian, aku pon pergi UK.
sungguhlah byk tawaran2 menarik pasal henfon di UK tu berbanding malaysia.
kite bole dpt phone percuma with a bond dgn monthly commitment based on which plan we chose (mcm yg ditawarkan skrg lah, dulu takde tawaran2 cenggini kat malaysia ni)
cumanya, mcm biasala, aku x kaya dan mmg 100% bergantung kat scholar je. aku mmg dari uni mmg x dpt sgt duit from parents, jrg jrg la. mmg mostly guna duit scholar je.
so, aku terpaksa akur dan memilih yg monthly commitment cukup2 makan je la.
so aku amek phone ini.
samsung mcm ni. x sure apanama...
dan aku gunanya sampaila blk malaysia....
kemudian, setelah mula bekerja semula, dan setelah pandai berhutang keliling pinggang (kad kredit), aku mula terjebak beli phone yg ade internet.
mase tu (2006), iphone belom wujud dan smartphone yg ada pon dopod kot.
tp aku memilih nokia sbb lebih stable. so aku belila phone ni.
nokia n80
gila, walopon boleh touchscreen dan mempunyai internet (wifi), gila susah nak mampos nak browse.
dgn skrin keciknye, dgn kipad yg bukan mcm kibod nye...
aku givap dan terus gi jual (guna beberapa bulan je)(tak ingat jual kat sapa tah) dan membeli my first smartphone. iaitu dopod..
ini phone tu: dopod 838pro
okla, senang guna gak (but ofkos tidakla semudah smartphone skrg ni)
aku guna sampai lah speaker dia dah x keluarkan bunyi.
dan bermulalah kedtgan iphone ke dunia ini.
mase iphone 3, aku masih bertahan sbb whatsapp pon belom glemer lagi.
tp, lepas tu aku tatahan, aku mula bekobakoba nak pakai iphone. tp sbb iphone 3gs dah nak keluar, so, aku tunggu.
keluar je iphone 3gs, aku terus garap!
(garap katanya)
iphone 3s
biasalah apple. asyik2 keluar model baru.
keluar je iphone4, aku tuka pula kpd iphone 4
iphone 5 aku x tuka apapa sbb bentuk dan saiz sama je.
tp, bila iphone6 keluar, aku tuka lagi. tuka kpdnya iphone 6
kehadiran iphone 6s x menggugat aku sbb mcm yg terjadi kpd transition iphone4 kpd iphone5, xde perubahan bentuk dan saiz sgt.
dan, buat mase ni, aku x minat sgt android.
takde sbb yg ketara, maybe just because i am a bimbo je.
sekian, wassalamu.
currently listening to:bunkface - darah muda
currently feeling:dah laparrrrrr dah
i wanna be:a supermodel~
and then there was si siksaikel
after, the one after tody.
the name came from the first recorded song he strummed, after i strict-telling him i want one.
altho not necessarily meant anything or meant for me only, that song did send me shaking.
the next thing i knew, we went out for a few dates, and at first i thought it was only a scandal and mehhh, he wouldnt want me.
i am taller than him.
but then, he got serious.
and i got serious-er.
and one day, as we were on a date, i recieved an 'i miss you' (or so i thought, i forgot exact words) SMS (no whatsapp that days) from my ex-coursemate that i'm most close with,
and the next thing i knew, we drove all the way from midvalley megamall to this ex-coursemate home at gasing.
things went a lil bit shaky. he came out of car, 2nd he came out from home.
and they went arguing. but actually, they werent too many words said.
mostly, all i remember is, si siksaikel holding the pam tayar basikal wanting to hit si ex-coursemate.
his housemate went out, trying to calm the fncking down.
i tried to shut up je. because i think i dunno if i was scared or i was in shocked.
the next thing i know, they were trolling me (actually 1person who is not si ex-coursemate, but his housemate) at our coursemate-group online.
and therefore, i started a hatred friendship or actually the right word is, i ended up cutting all the ties with all of them, my coursemate and his housemates and many more.
jealousy.turning saints into the sea.
i was never a jealous person before. but after him, i became one.
so, dont tell me about all the things u cant do when u r in a relationship, i've been to all.
today,
i am single and i am not sure.
i love and miss all the jealousy, but, a part of me felt relieved.
currently listening to:sick of same old love
currently feeling:lazy
i wanna be:a supermodel~
Pagi tadi aku melalak lagi, yg tahap terhinggut2 tuh.
Bukan sesiapa kacau or sakitkan hati aku pon tp sbb johara.
Ade laswik, ade caller ni ckp anak dia teringin sgt nk jumpa mak jemah. And mak jemah baikhati, harini dia jemput mak dgn budak ni dtg konti jumpa makjemah.
Aku memule tatau, ruparupanya budak ni cacat penglihatan. Katsitu mmg dah start sedih dah, tp, sbb johara dan makjemah ni dok buat buat lawak lagi, so takjadi nak bape sedihlah kan.
Tapi sekali tu, ray ke makjemah tah pi tanye, bila start xbleh nampak langsung ni?
So mak budak ni pon start cerita la.
Memule adib (nama budak tu) jatuh, pastu dahi dia bengkak. So mak dia bwkla p klinik.
Doktor tu ckap xde pape ni.. "Ibu bawak balik la adib, dahi dia boleh sembuh ni, cuma doktor rase samting wrong dgn mata adib ni, ibu kene bwk p hospital cek"
So, mak dia bwkla adib p hospital putrajaya utk cek mata adib.
Mase tu la baru tahu, mata adib ade kanser stage 3 dah. So kene operet buang mata sebelah.
Lepas beberapa ketika, (rasanya bulan april kot) 2015, doktor nasihatkan buang lagi sebelah sbb takut merebak sampai otak.
Hooii aku nangis sambil menaip..
So mak dia bgtaula adib. Adib, ok ke kalo buang mata lagi sebelah and adib ckp ok..
So dia operet buang another mata tu.
Lepas operet tu, adib bukak mata dah gelap, so dia tanye ibu dia..
"Ibu, dah siang ke? Kenapa gelap ni?"
Wohhhhh ohhh ohhh aku tatahan nangis
Pastu mak dia ckp "mmg gelap ni adib, tido ya nak, adib kena rehat" camtu
So adib tido, sampai esoknya dia bgn dia tanye lagi..
"Ibu, dah siang ke belom? Kenapa gelap ibu?"
Studio sunyi. Aku tatau kalo aku jadi johara ape reaksi aku kat situ, tp kalo aku ialah aku, ill definitely cry like mad.
Aku terus teringat segala makneka ahli keluarga aku.
Ya allah lindungi aku, ibubapaku, adikberadikku, anak2 buahku, & seluruh ahli keluargaku & teman2 rapatku.
I cant imagine if im in mak adib 's shoes, apatah lagi in adib's shoes.
