++the one with the boat

life is like a boat.
i cant help feeling exactly like the boat, the picture taken during labuan's holiday last weekend.
not many people would snap pictures and mengangkat bakul admiring his/her own capture/s, but this, hehe i would want to brag!
like the feeling of letting myself back in to the open sea, its like bringing back my small piece of heart into this whole new social life, new friends, new circles, but then, there are still the obstacles, the small2 rocks that still keep on blocking the way.
like the insecurities, the ugly truth, the minimum persona, the awkwardness, the less confident, and yet again, the feeling down.
there are always families and closed friends by the side, staying together no matter what happen,
but then, there still are those ombaks. the ones that kept slapping and kicking me.
the ones who always 'menganjing2' me, the bad emails, the bad mouth, the crooky smiles, the evil laugh. like the feeling of hearing a friend called me 'his janda' the other day. u might think u r being funny, but u r not. it scratched the wounds out of me heart.
those are the little little waves that kept on pushing me away from the open sea. blocking me, saddening me, and it felt like the malaysian-committee. ohwell, this is malaysia! to my surprise!!!
i can never stop the bad mouth, org2 yg suke menganjing2 dan mengutuk2 dan worst, i can never stop hearing.
sometimes, i think being alone with no friends to hang out with is way better than hanging out with nosy people.
perlukah saya menjadi anti-sosial dan menolak semua invitation?

currently listening to:peterpan - bintang di syurga
currently feeling:down:(
i wanna be:alone

++Demam ketam

Demam ketam= demam akibat byk mkn ketam dan merindui utk mkn ketam lagi
The feeling was like the demam i had on last may..
My sister insisted me to take 'kampung medication' again, mungkin keteguran again? Hnmmm, i'd stick with drugs.

++Tercipta Untukku

Pasti waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tahu ku selalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku..


* i still cannot biliv tat ariel is such a player and did those nosy videos. i still love looking at him tho.

++OK

pojan spoiled me with this song at labuan

01 OK !!
by T2

Aaaa aaaa..
Seandainya kau bilang saja padaku
Apa yang kau rasakan
Tanpa harus kau diam dan diam lagi
membuatku tak mengerti

Kau datang dan pergi
Seperti sibuk sendiri
Kau suka ku suka
Tapi berputar-putar

Chorus:
Aku bingung sendiri
Melihatmu begini
Kau buat aku jadi pusing
Aku tahu maumu
Aku tahu maksudmu
Aku mau jawaban
Cukup satu jawaban

Coda:
Aaaa.., ok
Aaaa.., ok
Bilang saja ok..
Ku mau dengar ok

Kau terlalu lama mengulur waktumu
Aku jadi capek deh..
Jelas-jelas kau sudah tahu hatiku
kau tunggu apa lagi

Kau datang dan pergi
Seperti sibuk sendiri
Kau suka ku suka
Tapi berputar-putar

Chorus:
Aku bingung sendiri
Melihatmu begini
Kau buat aku jadi pusing
Aku tahu maumu
Aku tahu maksudmu
Aku mau jawaban
Cukup satu jawaban

Coda:
Aaaa.., ok
Aaaa.., ok
Bilang saja ok..
Ku mau dengar ok

Aaaa, aaaa

++o to ka jo

o to ka jo
o to ka jo
gu de ga to na ga ne yo
o to ka jo
o to ka jo
nal du go to na ga ne yo
sa rang he yo
sa rang he yo
mok no ha bu lo bo ja man
gu den dut ji mo te yo
ga su mu ro man
we chi go i su ni

ha ru on jong il
ji wo bo ji man to to o la
ha ru on jong il
i byol ha ji man to da shi to o la
so nul po do do son ne mi ro do
ha nul su om nun go su ro
gu da ga ji man jap ji mo ta go
na nul go ma nit jo

++after 5 months

Some people are just damn lucky bastards, arent they?

currently listening to:imissyou blink182
currently feeling:sad
i wanna be:

++Walking After You

If you walk out on me
Im walking after you
another heart is cracked in two
I'm on your back



currently listening to:walking after u
currently feeling:weird
i wanna be:tough!!!!!!!

++the one with chilis

we were wearing the company's uniform when one day we decided to have dinner at chilis, one utama..
while eating and gossipping, a middle aged chinese man came approching.
"waaa, kerja with the company byk kaya ahhh"
i was giving the look of: "sape dia ni? akak kenal ke?" to the dinner partner..
"boleh makan sini, manyak kaya ah nowadays kerja with the company"
still, we were both looking at each other didnot understanding.
"u all kilija mana? customer care ka dealer ka?"
"ohhh, tak tak, we were the ones from kl sentral, kami bukan customer service punya olang"
"ya laaa, kl sentral customer care ka? dealer ka? manyak kaya ah boleh makan sini punya"
"tak tak kami bukan buat customer care"
"oh dealer ah? wahh boleh makan sini, lainkali belanja wa ya"
hehehe, ape ape sahajelah.
masih tidak puashati agaknya, the chinese man waited at the exit..
"kasi contact numbel la, nanti boleh belanja, manyak kaya ah keja dgn the company, boleh makan di chilis"
"..."

currently listening to:sound of silence
currently feeling:mengarut
i wanna be:a supermodel

++liverpool

i tellu what yeh,
jatuhnya liverpool adalah bersama-sama jatuhnya has1fah
i mean, bersempena.
hehehe, u've been cursed

kamon bring me up~

currently listening to:kasih x sampai
currently feeling:panas
i wanna be:a striker

++Sita - Happy

Hello! How are you?
Why are you looking so sad on a day like this?
Do you feel like talking?
Now you got me started
I wanna see a smile on your clueless face - Yeah Yeah




There's a man sitting down by the 405
Hitting some kind of tune on his raving guitar
He seems stranded in a desert of a million dreams
Just like life hasn't been exactly as nice as it seems

Hello! How are you?
Why are you looking so sad on a day like this?
Do you feel like talking?
Now you got me started

I wanna see a smile on your clueless face - Yeah Yeah
You could be so happy on this brand new beautiful day
You could be so happy like kids getting ready to play
Come on and bring it on, on and on
Nothing that you do is wrong
Come along and don't drag it on
You can be so happy

You say your girlfriend is pretty - Yeah
She's waiting at home
Got a safe job
And you can call a little house and a chevy your own
It all seems perfect but ain't perfect just as boring as hell
You've been craving for this
And now you're stuck just like a snail in it's shell All that matters is that you can
be free to live your life the way you sincerely feel it
Cause life's too short
You don't wanna be a prisoner
of your own illusions
And I shout it out

You could be so happy - yeah you got somebody to love
You could be so happy - Ain't that good enough
Ain't no use to sit and drag it on, thinking 'bout the mess
you've done - Nothing's wrong, just bring it on
You could be so happy

There's a man sitting down by the 405
Got a smile on his face - Thinking: 'What a wonderful life'

currently listening to:
currently feeling:
i wanna be:

++the one with the angkasawan wedding

u guys are such an ass!
kecoh bende??? she is obviously nervous lah


currently listening to:broken hearted
currently feeling:kenyang
thursday pls come very2 fast

++I'll Be Here Awhile

Far is solace in the maddening pace
sad state written on my face
not a tight rope walk but dance
uncertain game of chance
but I'll see it through in time

I'll be here a while, ain't going nowhere
I'll be here a while, ain't going nowhere
I'll be here a while, ain't going nowhere
I'll be here a while



currently listening to:i'll be here a while
currently feeling: intoxicated
i wanna be:with u

++I Will Come To You

We all need somebody we can turn to
Someone who'll always understand
So if you feel that your soul is dyin'
And you need the strength to keep tryin'
I'll reach out and take your hand

++the one with an old man

an old folk in my village, who is around 55+/-,
who for my very tak memilih eyes think is not handsome, not macho, not gagah, he is obviously old, menunggu hari2 utk pencen, kulitnya hitam, dan kurus, dan serious tak menarik..
suddenly asked something from his fully-housewife-wife..

"timah, bagi abang rantai mah tuh, abang nak gadai,
er...
...abang nak kahwen lagi satu"

with a young (i dont know her details, but from a known friend in our village, she is typical sahaja, muda of course, not ugly, but not pretty too, tidak kaya dan agak miskin bebanding this old guy), dan mempunyai ibu yg sudah becerai yakni janda..

menangis tak?
kalaulah lelaki itu kacak, atau atlis kelihatan segak dan gagah takpe juga.

now i think, alah break up dgn bf of 8years je kot.
think about mak timah, who was married for around 25 years with that old man.
who had membesarkan dgn susah payah anak2 yg sudah besar2 dan berjaya2..
who had been with this old man during thick and thin..
drpd miskin, hingga agak boleh tahan juga pencennya nanti..

after few days of thinking, maktimah said
"abang pikirlah bang, kalau abang dah pikir masak2, dan kalau itulah keputusan abang,
izinkan timah keluar dr rumah ni, timah nak duduk dgn anak2.."

to be continued....

currently listening to:ungu - cinta dlm hati
currently feeling:sadddddddddddd
i wanna be:a supermodel~

++Yg terdalam

Kau telah tinggalkan hati yang terdalam
Hingga tiada cinta yang tersisa di jiwa

this is due to the photo memories at the sidebar of the FB
and the album name is "yang terdalam - when OA is still staying under the same roof T_T and we used to lepak2 together with x & y ...
and those weekends of 2008 where i always be with...

do u know that i will not delete any photos?
dont bother advising..
currently listening to:yang terdalam
currently feeling:sad
i wanna diet!!!

++6 months sober

still wonder how others did it.
without realizing the fact that i did it.

currently listening to:bila cinta
currently feeling:sad
i wanna go eat lagi

++the one withdrawal

Related Words for : withdrawal
backdown, climb-down, detachment, secession, drug withdrawal

with·draw·al definition
Pronunciation: /-ˈdrȯ(ə-)l/
Function: n
1 a : a pathological retreat from objective reality (as in some schizophrenic states)
b : social or emotional detachment
2 a : the discontinuance of administration or use of a drug
b : the syndrome of often painful physical and psychological symptoms that follows discontinuance of an addicting substance heroin addict going through withdrawal >
3 : COITUS INTERRUPTUS

-The physiological and mental readjustment that accompanies such discontinuation.
-A pattern of behavior, observed in schizophrenia and depression, that is characterized by a pathological retreat from interpersonal contact and social involvement and that leads to self-preoccupation.
-Discontinuation of the use of an addictive substance. The symptoms of withdrawal include headache, diarrhea, and tremors and can range from mild to life threatening, depending on the extent of the body's reliance on the addictive substance.

Famous Quotations
withdrawal
"A separation situation is different for adults than it ..."
"A bizarre sensation pervades a relationship of pretense..."
"The reliance on authority measures the decline of relig..."
"only total expression expresses hiding: I'll..."

currently listening to:3S2M - the kill
currently feeling:withdrawed? :D
i wanna be a diagnostician ah ah ah


and oh, coitus interruptus, on the other hand, is...
the deliberate withdrawal of the penis from the vagina before ejaculation

++the one yang memaki

There will always be the moment like this
When fake "i miss u" sms-es to the little group of besties doesnt do wonders anymore..
Sedih rindu yg menggigil dan sgt sejuk.
Babiiiiiii pukimakkkkk fuckkkk
I wish i could scream in the real world rather than to mister blog.
Poor u.

(bgm: here without u.. No wonder eh?)