++the one who is 34

34.
i'd laugh at my old entries, proudly announced that of course i'll be married at this age,
but still i am not.
actually, i wrote 35. if i havent, im gonna adopt a child.
but looking at me now, altho i still have 12months left, i dont think i can achieve that.
financially, or emotionally.
my money wasnt saved, i spend it away. i know i know. but paralel-ly, i am satisfied with what i've accomplished with those money wasted. (shdnt call it wasted anyway, but anyways!)

to be honest,
my doa s have been shorten, and shorten each year.
i no longer hope and i no longer putting any expectations.
names have been erased,
takkesah lah the names that i loved, or the names that i dont want to be in love.
it goes out openly now, takkesah siapa dan takkesah lah ade ke takde.
jika ada jodoh, ada lah.
que sera sera.

and by this age, i finally accepted the fact that, i am all yours, Allah.
if he is in fact is not here, di dunia, perhaps, he is waiting for me di pintu syurga.
so be it...
que sera sera.

currently listening to:ed sheeran - thinking out loud
currently feeling:calm
i wanna be:kurus without doing nothing.