++the one with the boat

life is like a boat.
i cant help feeling exactly like the boat, the picture taken during labuan's holiday last weekend.
not many people would snap pictures and mengangkat bakul admiring his/her own capture/s, but this, hehe i would want to brag!
like the feeling of letting myself back in to the open sea, its like bringing back my small piece of heart into this whole new social life, new friends, new circles, but then, there are still the obstacles, the small2 rocks that still keep on blocking the way.
like the insecurities, the ugly truth, the minimum persona, the awkwardness, the less confident, and yet again, the feeling down.
there are always families and closed friends by the side, staying together no matter what happen,
but then, there still are those ombaks. the ones that kept slapping and kicking me.
the ones who always 'menganjing2' me, the bad emails, the bad mouth, the crooky smiles, the evil laugh. like the feeling of hearing a friend called me 'his janda' the other day. u might think u r being funny, but u r not. it scratched the wounds out of me heart.
those are the little little waves that kept on pushing me away from the open sea. blocking me, saddening me, and it felt like the malaysian-committee. ohwell, this is malaysia! to my surprise!!!
i can never stop the bad mouth, org2 yg suke menganjing2 dan mengutuk2 dan worst, i can never stop hearing.
sometimes, i think being alone with no friends to hang out with is way better than hanging out with nosy people.
perlukah saya menjadi anti-sosial dan menolak semua invitation?

currently listening to:peterpan - bintang di syurga
currently feeling:down:(
i wanna be:alone